the untold story

i was a young boy
But unfortunately old and mature in heart.
I never really had a chance to be a kid.
I never had the pleasure of being those happy kids on tv but I lived on.
through out the years I learnt so much I knew more than I was really supposed to but I acquired the knowledge and there was nothing I could do about that.
To some who didn't know me they saw a constant smile on my face and assumed I had it all "he looks so happy"
The truth was I wasn't happy I didn't have it all but I mad due with what I had.
I never wore my emotions on my sleeve because no one would understand and I kept it that way
even at home I pretended to be happy which I was not.
i didn't want anyones sympathy I disn't need it I felt that sympathy was for the weak.
So I lived on.
i have lost so much that I became cold and just didn't care anymore.
I didn't realise the cold heart towards people just made the pain worst.
and then one day it happened I tried to take myself out.
I failed.
everybody was in shock
"what he was so happy, what happened?"
I was in a mental institution for 3 weeks.
i was forced to wake a 5am and sleep at 8:30pm
between those long and boring hours with boring to do no one to talk to all I had was me and my thoughts.
i finally came to realise that the cold hearted person who I was truly wasn't me
I was much greater.
So at that moment I changed my life around
"No more dwelling on the past"
"no more cold hearted actions"
I started to care and slowly but surely I started to feel the gift of happiness
it was strange
But but I knew I liked it
I helped others because i know the pain of not having someone.
I tried my best to make sure no one went through what I been through.
And now I'm on the pursuit of happiness.
this is my untold story
thank you