living as who i am
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- Parts 1
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Thu, Mar 2, 2017
as a gay trans boy coming out freshman year, I've dealt with a lot of hate. but you know what? fuck them. allies are what we need right now. but those are limited.
in a world where being who you are is unwanted.
not being a fucking barbie made of plastic and drugs? is not okay.
some of us resort to suicide. some resort to drugs. and in this story? suicide.
for god won't help us. he's been gone for a long time and he won't be back soon. as a gay trans boy coming out freshman year? i will continue getting hate. and no one will do anything about it until I do. what we need is a leader, a queer leader. a gay martin Luther king.
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When I was young, I always was that boy that was misunderstood. I would be the one with the girly voice. I was timid. I was the one who would want the boys to chase me, threatening me with a kiss, not the girls. I was the one who didn’t understand why I was this way. As I entered middle school, I felt it come more often. Seeing the guys in gym or feel them smack me on the butt teasingly, I didn’t want to just be friendly, I wanted to be more than friends. I was still so confused. It was only lonely days then. Now I am in high school, I am a junior. I fully understand what I am. I don’t like it. I want to like girls so badly. I am just not normal. I try to stay out of the scene. He gives me confidence. He may not know me, but I am destined to try. He is fully open about his sexuality. Everyone knows of the monster that is inside of his mind. I know it has taunted him for years. I want to be like him. I want to let everyone know what I am, so I can attract more like me. But even more than that, I want him. I want Camden. I want him so bad it pains me to be in his presence and not hug him. I want him so bad.
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