Letters to Him.

I met this boy when I was in fourth grade. I don't really remember how we met but he became a very important person in my life. He was my best friend. He knew how to make me laugh and was a genuinely great person.

A few years later, our entire grade went on a science camp field trip to San Bernardino, CA for a week.

On the last day, I was sat at the same table as this boy, J, and other people from our school. When we were about to leave the dining hall, our classmate asked me and the other girls there if we would ever date J. The other girls said no but I kept quiet. I didn't want to say yes and make it awkward but I also didn't want to hurt his feelings if I said no. I was still going over why he would ask that question when I heard J say under his breath "well now I'm heartbroken". From then on I had an inkling that there was something he didn't tell me.

I had dreams about him and I felt myself falling for him when I didn't even know what that meant. I made it known that I liked him as more than a friend and he admitted to liking me since fourth grade. Our thing was short lived but there was still a lingering feeling of adoration from both sides. After two years though, we lost contact and have not said a word to each other since.

I don't know if when I write these it's because I love him or because I miss our friendship. But either way, I want him to know that I still care.