Forever and Always

"At some point in life, someone will love you more than what you've expected. Be patient and learn to wait, because sometimes, a patient person receives the best love story." When we think of falling in love, we only think of the perfect way that it'll happen in our mind. We expect that the ideal proposal will be at the nicest restaurant in town or on a beach at sunset. But not all relationships are the perfect roses; they're thorny. Because when I met Milan, I certainly was not a patient man. I was not selfless or optimistic all the time. And he made me feel so damn good inside in my heart in ways that I have never felt in my entire life. And sometimes two people have to fall apart just to realize how much they need to fall back together. No matter whether how adorably shy he was or how dorky he was with his Batman and Captain America cartoon tighty whities, Milan Szilagyi was the only person in my life who ever gave me the time and patience to let me the be the man I was and not some fake, assumingly-straight, overly-masculine and arrogant ass hole. Milan was the only person that actually took the time to let me be who I am and the fact that I broke his heart so badly was the worst thing I've ever done. Even though it's 32 years later and he's moved on with his life, it still hurts to think about how much he gave for me and how little I gave a damn about him. And to this day, it's something that I can never stop thinking about. It's hard to tell people you're gay when you married and had two children, only to find out that you weren't happy and divorced. To find yourself spending many sleepless nights wondering if you would ever fulfill that dream to fall in love with the man of your dreams. Milan was that man. And I didn't care if it was over 30 years later I just needed apologize to him to who I was. Because Milan was the one to make me patient, make me wait for the chance to talk to him, so I could have the best love story with him.