My Best Mistake
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My problem? I'm always falling in love with the careless guys.
He was amazing. He still is. That's part of why I can't get over him.
I can still hear his voice. I miss him. I miss us.
Maybe the fact that I'm such a loser made him leave me.
He lost feelings for me. If anything we went through meant something to him, how did he easily move on?
It's so hard. Seeing him everyday in school and talking to him everyday for hours. How are you supposed to get over someone who meant everything to you? Someone who was always there for you? Someone who stood by you when no one else was? Someone you fell in love with so badly?
He makes me feel crazy. He makes me feel like it's my fault.
I was in pain.
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This is going to be weird. At first at least. I haven't talked to you in over a year, but the teacher said we should use this diary to express our emotions and the only one I could ever be one hundred percent honest with is you. Those letters to you are worth 25% of my final grade so I must find some interesting things to talk to you about. It's going to be good for me too. It'll help me move on. Help me live my life again. I just hope that it will get easier because for now, just imagining talking to you every week brings it all back, all those feelings. I still hope that, one day, you will read those letters for real. That they won't just be a way to keep you in my mind. I'm not stupid, I know that you will never read them but imagining that you will helps me write what I really want to say. So this is for you, I hope you will enjoy. With all my love, Emily
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