Best Burns, Comebacks and Jokes
- Reads 1,216
- Votes 73
- Parts 20
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Sat, Mar 6, 2021
Can you handle the heat? Are you sure???... 'cause someone just got burned!!!!
All Rights Reserved
#259
insult
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Runt
My name is Will Charred. I didn't ask to be the pathetic loser no one even knows, with my permanent black eye and the uncontrollable tufts of fur people call hair. I want to tell you about how my pathetically lonely existence was lit up by a ray of sunlight and got completely turned upside-down. Nope. Too poetic. I made myself gag. Moving on!Complete
Hated Obsession
𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙇𝙖𝙠𝙨𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙑𝙞𝙙𝙝𝙞 𝙀𝙣𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙈𝙖𝙛𝙞𝙖 𝙭 𝙈𝙖𝙛𝙞𝙖 𝘽𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙨𝙨 𝙢𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙢𝙡 𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙘𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙃𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩, 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙇𝙖𝙠𝙨𝙝 𝙍𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙝𝙚'𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙛𝙞𝙖 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙥 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙘𝙚𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮... 𝙑𝙞𝙙𝙝𝙞 𝙎𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙖 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙢𝙖𝙛𝙞𝙖 𝙗𝙤𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙝𝙚 𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙝𝙞𝙢.. 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙪𝙥 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙖𝙨 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙚'𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝘼𝙣𝙣𝙖𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙚
| FLAMETHROWER | Wilhemina Venable
Wilhemina Venable ff ❦ Maybe my house burning down isn't a bad thing at all. "You told me to get out of your sight, but babe I'm always on your mind." [COMPLETED 06/10/22]Complete
𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐚ç𝐚𝐝𝐞
𝘔𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘥𝘦. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. {𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑: 𝒔𝒖!𝒄!𝒅𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒂𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒊𝒄.} [𝘊𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 @𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘯_𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳. 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥, 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘵. 𝘙𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦𝘥/𝘓𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 . 𝘎𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘤 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘩 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘯, 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘩.] [18𝘬 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴]Complete
LAUGH FUCKING ASS OUT
* MATURE CONTENT WARNING* If your already reading this then your in the right place. Now stop wasting your time here and start reading for a fun ride of laughs! Coughs! & hiccups!Complete
And He Still Didn't Fire Me
"Your resume says your main achievement is... finishing a rubber before losing it because you are awesome." "Yep!" "Your personality type says you are... sassy, hot and cool (more than anyone here) at the same time because you are awesome? That's a challenge." He smirked as he raised his perfect eyebrow. I nodded dumbly. And then I heard him mumbling," Never knew a Smurfs' T shirt was that hot with red pants..." "Your special education says... you were in Hogwarts?" His eyes opened wide. "Yo!" "And your interests says you want to go home and watch Ironman because you didn't want to apply for this job anyway and you are forced..." "You got me right boy!" I pointed at him with my finger. But then he said the three words I never expected to hear. "You're hired, hobo."Complete
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