Best Burns, Comebacks and Jokes
- Reads 1,219
- Votes 73
- Parts 20
Can you handle the heat? Are you sure???... 'cause someone just got burned!!!!
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#733
insult
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Some wise asshole once told me that you can't stand right next to a fire and expect not to get burnt. James was a fire, an absolute fucking dumpster fire, but I figured it was safe to cover myself in gasoline and dryer lint and take a closer look. How could this not blow up in my face?Complete![𝐑𝐚𝐣𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞: 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 [Rewriting]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/366598779-256-k557307.jpg)
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Abhiraj Singh Rajawat X Saanvi "Your world and mine are different,abhi" "That's okay. I'll make them one" "But what will people think, abhi?" "The only thing that matters to me is,what do you think?" "I don't even know who my parents are or what my real family is" "Then I'll help you find them" "What if your family doesn't accept me?" "They chose you for me even before I did. They love you so much. they accepted you the very first day they met you" "there are many girls who are more beautiful than me" "May be you didn't listen me, I am again saying.I love you berry"
And He Still Didn't Fire Me
"Your resume says your main achievement is... finishing a rubber before losing it because you are awesome." "Yep!" "Your personality type says you are... sassy, hot and cool (more than anyone here) at the same time because you are awesome? That's a challenge." He smirked as he raised his perfect eyebrow. I nodded dumbly. And then I heard him mumbling," Never knew a Smurfs' T shirt was that hot with red pants..." "Your special education says... you were in Hogwarts?" His eyes opened wide. "Yo!" "And your interests says you want to go home and watch Ironman because you didn't want to apply for this job anyway and you are forced..." "You got me right boy!" I pointed at him with my finger. But then he said the three words I never expected to hear. "You're hired, hobo."Complete
LAUGH FUCKING ASS OUT
* MATURE CONTENT WARNING* If your already reading this then your in the right place. Now stop wasting your time here and start reading for a fun ride of laughs! Coughs! & hiccups!Complete
ONLY HUMAN | mariah the scientist
***DISCONTINUED*** 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘀...𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸...Complete
Keeping Up With Trouble
Who knew you could get into an amusing conversation with a guy you just met at a coffee shop? Not Heather. ~~ "Why do you keep on following me?" "Because." "Because what?" "Just because." "Stupid idiot" "Do you really wanna know why?" "Will I ask you if I don't wanna know why?" "Way to go with the attitude Amore" "Just answer the damn question estùpido" "Well, keeping up with trouble is fun don't you think?" . . . "What the heck are you talking about?" ~~ With secrets and a whole different level of danger facing them, Who knew that said guy is determined to develop a special hate and love relationship with trouble itself? Not Heather, that's for sure.Complete
Some wise asshole once told me that you can't stand right next to a fire and expect not to get burnt. James was a fire, an absolute fucking dumpster fire, but I figured it was safe to cover myself in gasoline and dryer lint and take a closer look. How could this not blow up in my face?
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