This is Me!

This book will mention scenes of suicidal thoughts/attempts, self harm and abuse. If you are not comfortable with reading that, please do not read this book. The things that are going to be written in this book are not going to be nice and I will not write it in any toned down way because that was not what truly happened. I won't write this any other way just because you can't handle reading it. This is my life and everything that happened in it is true. I won't pretend like it didn't happen because people aren't happy with it. I'm sick of pretending. I can't hold it in anymore.

Most people do not understand my life. How could they? They lived the perfect childhood with supporting and loving parents who spoilt them with their care and love. However, my childhood was completely different. It involved physical, mental and psychological abuse, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, pain, self harm, racism, sexism, disappointment, anger and hate. It was and still remains to be the furthest thing from perfect. You could certainly call my childhood a representation of hell. You see, I've had to endure so much pain and suffering throughout my life and you'd think that after so much disappointments that my mind becomes numb and doesn't affect me anymore but it just becomes harder as time progresses.
There are two quotes that embody my life perfectly.
1. The more you gain, the more you have to lose and the further you fall.
2. They say you don't know what you had until it's gone. Truth is, you always knew what you had, you just never thought you'd lose it.