The Adventures Of An Aromantic Asshole (In A Shockingly Cliché World) - Quack Theory - Wattpad

The Adventures Of An Aromantic Asshole (In A Shockingly Cliché World)

Reads 22,355
Votes 2,063
Parts 15
Time 3h 2m

Reads 22,355
Votes 2,063
Parts 15
Time 3h 2m

Mature

angel aromantic badboy bdsm comedy comedy-romance horror humour parody roadtrip romance sarcasm satire swearing teenagers toomanytags trumpdid711 vampire werewolf

Okay. 

So, let's all just agree that some stories can be pretty cliché, right.  I mean - do you wanna tell me you never been reading a story and thought "yo, what the hell, that makes no sense, people don't act like that in real life, what's up with the cliché thing, damn."? 
Yeah, it's that feeling we're going against here.

So this THING, whatever it is, will feature all your good ol' clichés, but from an aromantics point of view.
  
Or just call it a parody or something, I dunno. You do you. Nice talking to ya. Same time next week?All Rights Reserved

angel aromantic badboy bdsm comedy comedy-romance horror humour parody roadtrip romance sarcasm satire swearing teenagers toomanytags trumpdid711 vampire werewolf

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15 parts

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The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me by YYeung128

A parody... except it slowly gets less satirical as I get way too attached to the characters and turn the story into a shipping-fest ~~~~ "Why are you doing this?" I whispered. He slammed me against another locker. I could see anger, sadness, envy, happiness and lust in his teal green orbs. "Because you're mine." He smirked, gnashing his teeth against mine. ~~~~ Brynn Winters is a 17 year old good girl. She is sweeter than sugar. She is also sarcastic and quirky and innocent and naive and snarky and is a bookworm and not like other girls. She also has trauma to (barely) compensate for her lack of personality. She believes in love but she has never experienced any, until she met him. Ryder Daniels is a 18 year old bad boy. He is sweeter than sin. He is dark and mysterious and plays football (not shown in book). He smokes and drinks beer. He is a ladies' man and a player. He has walls around his heart and some dark secrets that is definitely not spoiled in the title. He does not believe in love. Brynn and Ryder are opposites. So what happens when they meet? He is not who she thinks he is. Will it end in disaster? Or will it end in love? Will it end in flames? Or will it end in a different kind of flame? As disasters come their way, will they choose love or not love? Will their secrets drive them apart? Or will they trust in each other? Join them on their journey of love. There will be love, annoying sluts, conversations that doesn't pass the Bechdel test, cliche tropes, glaring plot holes, subtly glaring plot holes, socialism, orbs, humor, secondhand embarrassment and the tiniest hints of homoeroticism. ~~~~ Reviews (aka criticisms that I'm too lazy to correct): "From a horribly done parody to horribly done leftist propaganda." "Brynn and Ryder are the most frustrating couple I've ever read." "Where humor" "You can't use parody as an excuse for bad writing, you know."

Violet's Delight by lyazar

"Well then. That's the first time a girl has ever rejected my close proximity," he said, eyes ablaze with a playful fire. "You better get used to it," I retorted as I spun on my heel and headed for the school doors that led to the outside. "I've never met anyone like you before," he called after me, this time, not coming after me. "I know, Romeo. I'm a special little snowflake," I called back, not turning around. "You got the 'little' part right there, Princess!" he shouted after me. I threw up my middle finger back to him and heard him laugh as I exited out the doors rather dramatically. ... I'm tired of all those high school stories about a straight-A girl student with the perfect life who falls for the stereotypical Mr. Bad Boy who wears leather black jackets and only has a soft spot for her. That's not how the real world works, sweetheart. I may look like a damsel, but I'm never in distress. ... Not me making fun of the "she's not like every other girl" trope <3 o.o :)) I like to think I'm funny. After all: #3 in amusement 10/22/22 #1 in banter 10/31/22 #3 in friendship 11/7/22

The Other Girl | Completed✔ by Le_me_love_you

"The good girl meets the bad boy, they follow the road of love. But while riding, they face many anti-love obstacles that try to stop them from being together, such as karma, or the slut who likes the boy, or the golden boy who likes the girl. It's always the same cliché story. But ever wonder what's the story behind the bitch herself? Why does she hate the girl all of a sudden? Is it possible for a human to hate another for simple reasons? Or is there more to it? This is where this story comes, it talks about the girl who's always left behind in every single story. This will show you the perspective of the other girl." {C O M P L E T E D}

What's Your Worth? by Potatolord1999

Another teenage love story with just your typical edgy girl and badboy next door who falls in love with his best friends edgy sister who's also his neighbor. Also he's a vampire and his neighbors are werewolves and close family friends. ...................................................................... "So Matthew said you have a boy coming over" Tyler said with a hint of venom in his tone and turning me around. "Aww, if you were a sandwich right now you'd be a peanut butter and JELLY" I smiled looking into brown-green eyes. He chuckled and cracked his knuckles, looking lowkey pissed at me. "That boy is about to get a knuckle sandwich if he steps a foot in your room" "Is that.. a threat?" I fake gasped getting an amusing look from Tyler. "He'll be here in a matter of seconds" I grinned, folding my arms across my chest as I leaned on the wardrobe closing my eyes. Tyler put his thumb on my chin, pushing down so my lips parted and I felt the his breath hit my lips. ...................................................................... CONTAINS MATURE LANGUAGE AND THEMES.

My Brother's Best Friend |COMPLETED✔️| by anonymouss_lady

"You're such a jerk" I say, my cheeks heating up. "Oh really,?" He said, taking a step closer and his breath fanned my face. I didn't know what to say or to do. Was I doing something wrong? He leaned in, when the door opened. My brother just looked at us. ********************* Brianna. Your typical girl. Shy, lovely and adorable. Funny too. Alex. Your bad boy. Dorky, but lovely. Brianna's brother leaves his best friend in charge to keep his adorable sister safe. Little did he know they will grow feelings of each other. With some ups and downs, they soon admitted their feelings, but will it last long? Will the bad boy start being soft and lovely for his crush? The real question is, What will her brother do? What will he feel? Betrayed? Surprised? Angry? Happy? All of them? Read to find out! ALL RIGHTS RESERVED* STRONG LANGUAGE* MATURE CONTENT*

My Wattpad Story by EthanEzekiel

"Hello, my name is Barbara Robinson and I am a sixteen year old girl. And I really hate to admit this, but I am fat. Anyway, I live in this big town called Wattpadville. I study in a school called Wattpad High School. I'm just a normal heavy teenage girl, you know. But my friends aren't normal. My life isn't normal. Nothing is normal in Wattpadville." No truer words have been spoken than this. Join Barbara in her roller coaster journey as she meets the love of her life along with a few murders and magic on the way. But be warned - you've read it all before! This is a satirical parody that pokes fun at all the cliché, annoying stories in Wattpad that makes you roll your eyes and pull your hair. Note : Parental advisory. Explicit content. Enjoy reading!

Road Trip by wikklegiggle

After My Mom married Matthew Reed, my life sort of took on a rollercoaster like path. I mean, my mom was happy, therefor I should be happy, but I wasn't. Well, not for a long time. I guess a little road tripping can't hurt anyone, right? And if worse comes to worse, there's always back seat sex I guess. ***Finished revamp July 2017***

Long Story Short, The Condom Broke ✔️ by prinses1010

There's a story behind every person. There's a reason why they're the way they are. They aren't just like that because they want to. Something in the past created them, and sometimes it's impossible to fix them. Everly Adams has a different story than most teenagers would like to admit. She's stepping into a new phase of her life with just her older sister to care for her. Life can get a little bit tricky if you just got kicked out of the house. Why? Just keep on reading my dear reader. Liam Wells has a cliché story. He's rich, school's bad boy, leader of the D&D's ( Devils Deciple ) and he's got the looks of course. But no cliché boy has a story like his. It all starts with a chicken nugget. It's amazing what a chicken nugget can do. Follow the rollercoaster that's waiting for the both of them. Drama, loss and humor all combined in one adventure. This is : Long Story Short, The Condom Broke By: prinses1010 Word count (108,000 words) Currently being edited!!! (✔️=edited) Rankings : ~#1 Teen fiction 10/19/2019 ~#1 Teenagepregnancy 09/8/2019 ~#1 Teendaddy 09/8/2019 ~#1 Heartbreak 10/27/2019 ~#1 Teenromance 10/29/2019 ~#1 Teen love 05/01/2020 ~#1 Highschool 03/01/2021 ~#3 Humor 13/01/2021 ~#2 Mystery 18/04/2021

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy by Beautiful_Tragedy8

CRINGE WARNING! First book I ever wrote on here!! -- "Sometimes the person who you are willing to take a bullet for is the person behind the gun." I stood peering over the cold lifeless body that lay before my eyes. I had always thought of death the enemy, but right now, I blessed it upon the person who is now at peace. Sometimes you don't need to be the smartest, or the fastest, but you do need to be wisest. They say the blood runs deeper than water, and I believe it, because even though the people that we love can turn on us and begin to hate us, they are only human, meaning that soon they will begin to see how short life really is and how it is not to be wasted. People who seem perfect and they look like they have no floors'; they are the people who are suffering, like I was. But I found my savior in the most uncommon place. He was able to look through my mask, he saw the cracks, and tried to fix the broken girl that hid away deep inside the girl who only wanted to be seen as 'fine'. I slowly began to find comfort and safety in him, and I did the same to him. We were two broken people becoming whole. Someone once said when you pass, if you can count your true friends on one hand you are beyond lucky, and I even though I did not like the person that lay before me, I know that he once had true friends, including me. I'm a 17 year old girl who has suffered more than any other, beginning to believe that 'Hope' was just another word the people throw around. Until I fell in love with a badboy. Trailer to the side -------------------> Made By @Laura__1 Cover made by @Beautiful_Tragedy8 Copyright 2014

Cliche Cops ✓ by randomsweetstuff

The main rule is 'Stop the cliches' -CC ~*~ In the town where everything cliched occurs, Ella is sent a message with a simple task. These messages are demanding and she unknowingly got herself into the mess by complying with the messages. Little did she know all the work that came along with it once she signed up. Now she has to: a) Stop her neighbours from falling in love. b) The waitress from marrying a billionaire. c) The new girl from falling for the golden boy. d) Find out who's behind all these messages. ~*~ Highest ranking: #414 Humor

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Slide 1 of 10

The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me cover

Violet's Delight cover

The Other Girl | Completed✔ cover

What's Your Worth? cover

My Brother's Best Friend |COMPLETED✔️| cover

My Wattpad Story cover

Road Trip cover

Long Story Short, The Condom Broke ✔️ cover

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy cover

Cliche Cops ✓ cover

The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me

A parody... except it slowly gets less satirical as I get way too attached to the characters and turn the story into a shipping-fest "Why are you doing this?" I whispered. He slammed me against another locker. I could see anger, sadness, envy, happiness and lust in his teal green orbs. "Because you're mine." He smirked, gnashing his teeth against mine. Brynn Winters is a 17 year old good girl. She is sweeter than sugar. She is also sarcastic and quirky and innocent and naive and snarky and is a bookworm and not like other girls. She also has trauma to (barely) compensate for her lack of personality. She believes in love but she has never experienced any, until she met him. Ryder Daniels is a 18 year old bad boy. He is sweeter than sin. He is dark and mysterious and plays football (not shown in book). He smokes and drinks beer. He is a ladies' man and a player. He has walls around his heart and some dark secrets that is definitely not spoiled in the title. He does not believe in love. Brynn and Ryder are opposites. So what happens when they meet? He is not who she thinks he is. Will it end in disaster? Or will it end in love? Will it end in flames? Or will it end in a different kind of flame? As disasters come their way, will they choose love or not love? Will their secrets drive them apart? Or will they trust in each other? Join them on their journey of love. There will be love, annoying sluts, conversations that doesn't pass the Bechdel test, cliche tropes, glaring plot holes, subtly glaring plot holes, socialism, orbs, humor, secondhand embarrassment and the tiniest hints of homoeroticism. Reviews (aka criticisms that I'm too lazy to correct): "From a horribly done parody to horribly done leftist propaganda." "Brynn and Ryder are the most frustrating couple I've ever read." "Where humor" "You can't use parody as an excuse for bad writing, you know."