" You don't understand what it was like for me," I stated. With a sigh Jacob walked around the shattered vase and sat next to me, the bed shifting under his weight. " You're right, I don't know. I've always had a family, friends, I've always had something to fight for, something that pulled me away from the darkness," he said holding my hand. He turned to face me, " but you have only ever had people pushing you further into it, you've never had anyone to pull you out and I'm so sorry." he said. I stood up and walked over to the window, my feet padding against the cold hard wood floor, " I've lost everything. I ruin everything and everyone I touch." I said. He stood up and made his way over to the window to watch the rain, two inches away from me, I could hear his heartbeat.
" I've lost myself, and I don't know how to get back." I said quietly.
" I'll find you."
Ella is falling apart trying to live a "perfect" high school life. Then she meets Ren, who can see past her scars. Suddenly perfection isn't her only option.
*****
Ella Volkov is a gifted music student, but she's depressed and starting to crack under the pressure of high school. Her overbearing father won't even let her choose what instrument she plays. Then she finds herself alone at a party with Ren, her best friend's crush. She'd always thought he was rude, but after that night he's all Ella can think about. Now she's trapped. If Ella dates Ren, it will ruin her friendship with Jenny. But if she stays true to Jenny, she's losing the one person who can see past her scars. It's up to Ella to decide if she will forge her own path, or stay in the "perfect" box designed for her...
Content and/or Trigger Warning: depression, anxiety, self-harm, violence, sexual assault.
[[word count: 50,000-100,000 words]]