Mad Dog and The Englishman - Jason Greenfield - Wattpad

Mad Dog and The Englishman

JasonGreenfield

Reads 570
Votes 114
Parts 33
Time 5h 2m

Reads 570
Votes 114
Parts 33
Time 5h 2m

JasonGreenfield

2018undiscovered1k comedy darkfantasy fantasy global humor intelligenceagencies middleeast paranormal politics satire socialcommentary wattys2017

Do you want biting political and cultural satire which cleverly and expertly sends up the idea of national and cultural stereotypes of our times and exposes the raw fetidness of our global iconographic zeitgeist?

Well tough! 

There now follows a very very serious disclaimer that you will ignore at your peril ... i really mean it!

IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED AND BELONG TO THE FOLLOWING GROUPS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BOOK:

SCOTS, WELSH, NORTHERN IRISH, IRISH CATHOLICS, COCKNEYS, CHAVS, UPPER CLASS ENGLISH TWATS, RELIGIOUS CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS, JEWS, HOMOSEXUALS, RESIDENTS OF WATFORD, THE ACTOR ROBERT CARLYLE, THE WORKING CLASSES, UNEMPLOYED DOLE SCROUNGERS, THE AUTHOR'S FRIEND DANIEL SKELTON, REPUBLICAN AMERICANS, SOUTHERN STATES AMERICANS, CHRISTIAN MIDWEST AMERICANS WITH TRADITIONAL VALUES, ANY AMERICAN, TRANSVESTITES, SUPPORTERS OF THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL SQUAD, IRANIANS, EX PRESIDENT OF IRAN MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, SYRIANS, BASHAR AL ASSAD, WAYNE ROONEY, BELGIUMS, AGATHA CHRISTIE, THE FRENCH, YAHOO MESSAGE BOARD COMMENTATORS, SOUTH AMERICAN CRIME CARTELS, PRIESTS AND REVERENDS, THE WRITER OF THIS BOOK, PALESTINIANS, ARABS IN GENERAL, OLD YIDDISH MEN, THE FICTIONAL OLLAWONGA TRIBE OF DARKEST AFRICA, THE WRITER AND READERS OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, THE CHINESE AND TONY BLAIR.

IF YOU BELONG TO THE FOLLOWING PLEASE READ THE BOOK WITHOUT FEAR OF OFFENSE:

ITALIANS.

What are the Ethereals?

Some say they are the personifications of iconic and stereotypical energies given life by our collective beliefs and imagination. Others say they started as humans and evolved for much the same reasons given above. Both viewpoints have a basis in truth.

WARNING: The following piece of hack work contains levels of swearing, depraved activity and violent situations sufficient enough to have Jihadi John puking up his guts.All Rights Reserved

2018undiscovered1k comedy darkfantasy fantasy global humor intelligenceagencies middleeast paranormal politics satire socialcommentary wattys2017

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33 parts

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Bite Me by stayonbrand

Werewolves and vampires don't mix, or that's what Kieran Callisto, a seventeen-year-old vampire, has believed all his life - until he falls for the Alpha's son. ***** When Kieran meets his new classmate, Mason Kane, he bristles with an unexplainable disdain. Soon it becomes apparent why: Mason is a werewolf. But when a fight turns into a sudden kiss that neither expects, Kieran's feelings for Mason turn to attraction in an instant. None of it makes sense - vampires and werewolves are supposed to be mortal enemies, so why does Kieran find Mason so irresistible? He knows that each kiss is dangerous, each bite is unpredictable...

The Edge of Forever by mbross00

In a world where whispers hold the power to kill, a young girl must face her darkest fears as the boundary between life and death starts to dissolve, uncovering the fragile yet profound meaning of existence.

Mahal by BubblyRosy

She is walking in the dark corridors which are barely lit, the only source of light is the torch light in her hand. As she is walking she heard someone calling her " Piyali...." she halted in her tracks and turned back, she find the voice familiar but can't decipher where she heard, the voice is so sweet to her... " Piyali"... the voice again called this time she decided to check. she walked towards the voice direction " who's is there?" Her voice echoed but no reply came, so she neared the spot from where the voice is heard, which is more darker than the corridor, even her torch is falling short in the darkness there, she is trying to adjust her eyes, squinting her eyes she asked again " who's is that?" She expected a reply but she was pulled into a hug. As a girl she is trying to defend herself but the hug is so strong she is unable to even move. she can hear that manly voice kept saying something to her, but she is unable to understand. Those hands now cupped her face, while she tried to see who it is, but she felt kisses on her neck traveling towards her face, she resisted and shouted " no...leave me...no" Hearing that the hands left her face immediately, and the manly voice sounded concern, but escaping from the grip, she started to run from there in the darkness. she is not in the right state of mind she just kept running and running until she bumped into someone. Find more in the story.....

Face Your Fears by HonorInTheRain

Archer Morales's life is finally perfect. He's married to the girl of his dreams and finally has a job he enjoys. But when something completely unexpected happens, Archer discovers that his wife, Hadley, has been keeping secrets, and that his past isn't going to be staying in the past for much longer.

Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn by saddii07

"What is this" he asks, his voice is calm, but his expressions is anything but that. There were multiple gasps in the room, when he suddenly flings the magazine's he has in his hand what has me in daze were not the pictures but the title Atticus Fawn to be wedded to Autumn Rivera " I am getting married to a women, I don't want to marry. " I try hard to fight the ache in my heart caused by his question. I knew he was not in love with me I was the one in love with him. "Have some respect to your future wife and daughter in law of this family" His mother snaps Atticus takes a step toward his mother his eyes flashes Anger " the only women I will marry is Anya, no one else. " He doesn't say anything after this as he stroms out of the room. my eyes follows him until I can't see him anymore.

The world of yo-kai(Yokai watch X Reader) by KCAuthor

In this world beings called yo-kai exist causing all sorts of problems for humans. Yo-kai are invisible to the human eye so to see them you'd have to use a legendary forbidden tool hidden in the human world. But just what is this tool and what would happen if a certain person found it and the yo-kai lurking about this world?

Rooming with the Wicked by allrenwrote

After barely surviving an attempt on her life, alchemy student Ariel investigates her new supernatural roommates as possible suspects. Nothing can prepare her for the secrets she is about to uncover about her own family-or her infuriating demon roommate's constant attempts to get under her skin. Season 1 of The Wicked Series *** Ariel is no stranger to bad luck. Life has been an uphill battle with an estranged father and a stepbrother who hates her. Studying alchemy feels like a dream come true, at least until Ariel suspects one of her new supernatural roommates might be trying to kill her. Refusing to be an easy target, she uses her alchemy skills to protect herself and dives headfirst into her own investigation. When unsettling truths about Ariel's family and the world she lives in come to light, she realizes that those she suspects most might be her best allies. None of her newfound friends are quite what they seem-especially Haze. A demon of sloth should not be this hard to avoid, yet Haze defies all expectations, making it increasingly difficult for Ariel to deny the growing attraction between them. Still, the closer Ariel gets to finding out the truth, the more she fears her trust may have been misplaced. *** Weekly updates on Mondays. Wait & read for free, or unlock with coins-the choice is yours!

Death By A Thousand Cuts ━ elijah mikaelson [1] ✔ by witchesalex

❝ how many times do i have to say these words: i don't like your mother ❞ in which, amelia knight is death, and she happened to be called into mystic falls, where it just so happened that an original vampire wearing a suit and tie who she knew a long time ago, is one of the main reasons ━ elijah mikaelson x oc ━ the vampire diaries s2 ━ s3 ━ book one in the death series Published ━ december 2024 Completed ━ january 2025 Story Status ━ complete Cover Made By ━ me

Brotherhood of the Wolf by rskovach

[2024 WATTYS Shortlist] Academia is a different beast all together when a university is run by werewolves and your new dean is a literal Alpha. * * * At twenty-five, Barlow Milligan is looking forward to starting her first job after grad school as an Assistant Professor at the prestigious Packard University. Little does she count on the quaint, upstate New York school being controlled by two rival packs of werewolves. Luckily, the secretive factions have made peace, at least for now, through the promised union of Clayton Ward, Alpha of Allegheny pack and Gemma Calhoun, daughter of the leader of Black River pack. That is, until Clayton sets his sights on making newcomer Barlow his Luna, instead. But Barlow doesn't know how to control her wolf, nor has she ever been in a pack outside of her family before. Can she learn to fit in and more importantly, can she avoid being the cause of an all-out pack war? * * * A Packard University Novel: Season ONE. Found exclusively only on WATTPAD. (c) 2024 Postings will be weekly starting in June 2024 until completion.

Tied To The Alpha (#2 New Moon) by author_luna_

#2 New Moon Series _An enemy of an enemy is a friend_ I have yearned for a mate ever since I learnt of one. Thoughts about having someone who would love me unconditionally plagued my mind every night. Entering the werewolf unraveled many secrets and I eliminated all the filty lies from the clean truth. I was alone in the human world and an outcast in the werewolf world. The day my father decided to accept me was the day I ran away and straight into the arms of his enemy─the Dark Alpha─who was my mate. My world shattered into pieces when I found out every single truth that was buried deep underneath. I had the jewel everyone searched high and low for, and because of that, I was most wanted. And the day I decided to leave my true nature behind... His enemy came for me─the ruler of demon wolves. _Keep your friends close and your enemies closer_ Throughout the miserable, tormenting years I've never met a women so beautiful as her. My beautiful mate. My beautiful weapon. Like me, she's broken in her own ways. I wanted to glue all those shattered pieces together, carving and molding it into my little wolf. The fact that she's my mate didn't change the past. Her father killed my father, leaving me as a broken child forced into training to rule the empire. To continue my father's legacy. To seek revenge. I grew up developing a hatred for hybrids─mixed breeds─I never intended to fall in love with her, nor did I intend to hate her. And yet I did both, but chose one over the other in the end. But my plans took a huge turn when I found out that I wasn't the only apex predator around.

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Slide 1 of 10

The Edge of Forever cover

Face Your Fears cover

Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn cover

The world of yo-kai(Yokai watch X Reader) cover

Rooming with the Wicked cover

Death By A Thousand Cuts ━ elijah mikaelson [1] ✔ cover

Brotherhood of the Wolf cover

Tied To The Alpha (#2 New Moon) cover

Bite Me

Werewolves and vampires don't mix, or that's what Kieran Callisto, a seventeen-year-old vampire, has believed all his life - until he falls for the Alpha's son. ***** When Kieran meets his new classmate, Mason Kane, he bristles with an unexplainable disdain. Soon it becomes apparent why: Mason is a werewolf. But when a fight turns into a sudden kiss that neither expects, Kieran's feelings for Mason turn to attraction in an instant. None of it makes sense - vampires and werewolves are supposed to be mortal enemies, so why does Kieran find Mason so irresistible? He knows that each kiss is dangerous, each bite is unpredictable...