Mad Dog and The Englishman - Jason Greenfield - Wattpad

Mad Dog and The Englishman

JasonGreenfield

Reads 569
Votes 114
Parts 33
Time 5h 2m

Reads 569
Votes 114
Parts 33
Time 5h 2m

JasonGreenfield

2018undiscovered1k comedy darkfantasy fantasy global humor intelligenceagencies middleeast paranormal politics satire socialcommentary wattys2017

Do you want biting political and cultural satire which cleverly and expertly sends up the idea of national and cultural stereotypes of our times and exposes the raw fetidness of our global iconographic zeitgeist?

Well tough! 

There now follows a very very serious disclaimer that you will ignore at your peril ... i really mean it!

IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED AND BELONG TO THE FOLLOWING GROUPS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BOOK:

SCOTS, WELSH, NORTHERN IRISH, IRISH CATHOLICS, COCKNEYS, CHAVS, UPPER CLASS ENGLISH TWATS, RELIGIOUS CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS, JEWS, HOMOSEXUALS, RESIDENTS OF WATFORD, THE ACTOR ROBERT CARLYLE, THE WORKING CLASSES, UNEMPLOYED DOLE SCROUNGERS, THE AUTHOR'S FRIEND DANIEL SKELTON, REPUBLICAN AMERICANS, SOUTHERN STATES AMERICANS, CHRISTIAN MIDWEST AMERICANS WITH TRADITIONAL VALUES, ANY AMERICAN, TRANSVESTITES, SUPPORTERS OF THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL SQUAD, IRANIANS, EX PRESIDENT OF IRAN MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, SYRIANS, BASHAR AL ASSAD, WAYNE ROONEY, BELGIUMS, AGATHA CHRISTIE, THE FRENCH, YAHOO MESSAGE BOARD COMMENTATORS, SOUTH AMERICAN CRIME CARTELS, PRIESTS AND REVERENDS, THE WRITER OF THIS BOOK, PALESTINIANS, ARABS IN GENERAL, OLD YIDDISH MEN, THE FICTIONAL OLLAWONGA TRIBE OF DARKEST AFRICA, THE WRITER AND READERS OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, THE CHINESE AND TONY BLAIR.

IF YOU BELONG TO THE FOLLOWING PLEASE READ THE BOOK WITHOUT FEAR OF OFFENSE:

ITALIANS.

What are the Ethereals?

Some say they are the personifications of iconic and stereotypical energies given life by our collective beliefs and imagination. Others say they started as humans and evolved for much the same reasons given above. Both viewpoints have a basis in truth.

WARNING: The following piece of hack work contains levels of swearing, depraved activity and violent situations sufficient enough to have Jihadi John puking up his guts.All Rights Reserved

2018undiscovered1k comedy darkfantasy fantasy global humor intelligenceagencies middleeast paranormal politics satire socialcommentary wattys2017

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33 parts

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Tied To The Alpha (#2 New Moon) by mysterixus_luna

#2 New Moon Series _An enemy of an enemy is a friend_ I have yearned for a mate ever since I learnt of one. Thoughts about having someone who would love me unconditionally plagued my mind every night. Entering the werewolf unraveled many secrets and I eliminated all the filty lies from the clean truth. I was alone in the human world and an outcast in the werewolf world. The day my father decided to accept me was the day I ran away and straight into the arms of his enemy─the Dark Alpha─who was my mate. My world shattered into pieces when I found out every single truth that was buried deep underneath. I had the jewel everyone searched high and low for, and because of that, I was most wanted. And the day I decided to leave my true nature behind... His enemy came for me─the ruler of demon wolves. _Keep your friends close and your enemies closer_ Throughout the miserable, tormenting years I've never met a women so beautiful as her. My beautiful mate. My beautiful weapon. Like me, she's broken in her own ways. I wanted to glue all those shattered pieces together, carving and molding it into my little wolf. The fact that she's my mate didn't change the past. Her father killed my father, leaving me as a broken child forced into training to rule the empire. To continue my father's legacy. To seek revenge. I grew up developing a hatred for hybrids─mixed breeds─I never intended to fall in love with her, nor did I intend to hate her. And yet I did both, but chose one over the other in the end. But my plans took a huge turn when I found out that I wasn't the only apex predator around.

Mahal by BubblyRosy

She is walking in the dark corridors which are barely lit, the only source of light is the torch light in her hand. As she is walking she heard someone calling her " Piyali...." she halted in her tracks and turned back, she find the voice familiar but can't decipher where she heard, the voice is so sweet to her... " Piyali"... the voice again called this time she decided to check. she walked towards the voice direction " who's is there?" Her voice echoed but no reply came, so she neared the spot from where the voice is heard, which is more darker than the corridor, even her torch is falling short in the darkness there, she is trying to adjust her eyes, squinting her eyes she asked again " who's is that?" She expected a reply but she was pulled into a hug. As a girl she is trying to defend herself but the hug is so strong she is unable to even move. she can hear that manly voice kept saying something to her, but she is unable to understand. Those hands now cupped her face, while she tried to see who it is, but she felt kisses on her neck traveling towards her face, she resisted and shouted " no...leave me...no" Hearing that the hands left her face immediately, and the manly voice sounded concern, but escaping from the grip, she started to run from there in the darkness. she is not in the right state of mind she just kept running and running until she bumped into someone. Find more in the story.....

Rooming with the Wicked by allrenwrote

After barely surviving an attempt on her life, alchemy student Ariel investigates her new supernatural roommates as possible suspects. Nothing can prepare her for the secrets she is about to uncover about her own family-or her infuriating demon roommate's constant attempts to get under her skin. Season 1 of The Wicked Series *** Ariel is no stranger to bad luck. Life has been an uphill battle with an estranged father and a stepbrother who hates her. Studying alchemy feels like a dream come true, at least until Ariel suspects one of her new supernatural roommates might be trying to kill her. Refusing to be an easy target, she uses her alchemy skills to protect herself and dives headfirst into her own investigation. When unsettling truths about Ariel's family and the world she lives in come to light, she realizes that those she suspects most might be her best allies. None of her newfound friends are quite what they seem-especially Haze. A demon of sloth should not be this hard to avoid, yet Haze defies all expectations, making it increasingly difficult for Ariel to deny the growing attraction between them. Still, the closer Ariel gets to finding out the truth, the more she fears her trust may have been misplaced. *** Weekly updates on Mondays. Wait & read for free, or unlock with coins-the choice is yours!

Thousands of non-humans line up to confess their love to me | BL, MTL by Usingthisusername

Gu Wuji, who has often encountered ghosts since childhood, was drawn into an infinite supernatural world one day. As a result, I treated you as evil spirits, but you wanted to cling to my thighs? The original name was "Thousands of evil spirits are lining up to be my licking dogs", which was harmonized. 1V1 main bottom, thousands of people (ghosts?) obsessed bottom x schizophrenic villain boss attack

Daddy's Precious Little Girl by Little-Tag

In a world where humans and shifters coexist, a coming-of-age story unfolds with Ashlynn at its center. Turning 18 in three days, Ashlynn eagerly anticipates the evaluation that will determine her classification among the two main categories: Dominant or Submissive. With intricate sub-classifications like sub, slave, pet, or little for humans, and Dom, Master/Mistress, or Daddy/Mommy for shifters, the stakes are high. As Ashlynn navigates her tumultuous environment, haunted by her mother's unchecked wrath and her own fragile existence, she teeters on the edge of a society where abuse is unforgivable and justice is swift. As her mother's actions lead to a devastating reckoning, Ashlynn's story unfolds.

ဝင်္ကပါထဲကအချစ် (MAZE) by DoraHtoo

love,fight,sex,run,lost,dark,hope,light,mist,find,jealous,hate,trust... Warning: အပိုင်း ၁၂ မှစ 🔞 ဖြစ်၍ ကလေးများ အသက်ပြည့်မှ ဖွင့်ဖတ်ရန်။

A Cold Wind Blows (Forgotten series, #3) by AMLKoski

Book three of the Forgotten series ~ Weakness is not allowed in the Mountain packs. Living in the mountains, away from civilization and away from the eyes of mundanes. The Mountain packs are harsh and brutal. Shifter against shifter. Pack against pack. Wolves against wolves. All fighting for the same thing. Survival. Azrael Thorn was a powerful Alpha. He had taken his title by force, as tradition dictated. Power and authority of the Alphas and shifters who had challenged him and lost radiated off of his tall, bulky frame. He was dangerous and he was everything an Alpha of a Mountain pack should be. Yet he had no mate or family to call his own. But a mate who could not stand the bitterly cold winters or the brutality of the pack would not produce strength. It would only bring weakness. Weakness is not allowed in the Mountain packs. ~ If the pain stops, it means you are dead. Lace Owens is underestimated at every turn. Her small and delicate built matches her name but the power of defeated enemies hang off her heavily. A power and an authority that would bring many men to their knees if they sensed it, hangs off of her like an oppressively dark cloud but she hides it carefully. Unwilling to let anyone see just how powerful she has become. Her skin is marked with a painful past and she has turned a thing of cruelty into a thing of beauty with her blade. Swirling patterns adorning her skin, hiding the cruelty among her willing pain, her only comfort against the world around her. If the pain stops, it means you are dead. ~ Two world collide as Azrael and Lace form a bond and spiral down into unfamiliar territory where Azrael is shown that strength doesn't always come from size and Lace learns that love can spring from even the most painful places. Together they show the werewolf world a long held belief still stands strong. Weakness is not allowed in the Mountain packs. ~

Brotherhood of the Wolf by rskovach

[2024 WATTYS Shortlist] Academia is a different beast all together when a university is run by werewolves and your new dean is a literal Alpha. * * * At twenty-five, Barlow Milligan is looking forward to starting her first job after grad school as an Assistant Professor at the prestigious Packard University. Little does she count on the quaint, upstate New York school being controlled by two rival packs of werewolves. Luckily, the secretive factions have made peace, at least for now, through the promised union of Clayton Ward, Alpha of Allegheny pack and Gemma Calhoun, daughter of the leader of Black River pack. That is, until Clayton sets his sights on making newcomer Barlow his Luna, instead. But Barlow doesn't know how to control her wolf, nor has she ever been in a pack outside of her family before. Can she learn to fit in and more importantly, can she avoid being the cause of an all-out pack war? * * * A Packard University Novel: Season ONE. Found exclusively only on WATTPAD. (c) 2024 Postings will be weekly starting in June 2024 until completion.

A Little Left to Give (Forgotten Series #8) by AMLKoski

~ It is by Mene's word that new age has been born, a new world ~ Ezekiel Ruiz was unwillingly stuck between two worlds. He was a wild and that was where he found the most comfort, lost in the darkness while his wolf took over. But Amelia's Blessing had his wolf barring the darkness from him, refusing him his familiar comfort, the compulsion to find the viper he mated to screaming without the pain to drown it out. At times he felt like the blessing was a curse. ~ Change is always hard, and it is in our nature as wolves to fight it ~ Julieta Esperanza Valentina Cruz had always played by the rules, it was what she had been taught, it was what was fair. She had lived by them. Except that doesn't work when others refuse to play fair. Her brother's best friend banished from the pack, a fight but not. Then the moon saw fit to pair her with the victor and the world showed just how unfair it could be. Banished from her home, struggling to survive in a world that felt callous and cruel, Julieta struggled to hold onto hope but as the years dragged on it got harder and harder. Her hope disappeared entirely when the illegal rogues found her and took her. Sometimes she wished Mene's love wasn't so brutal. ~ But Mene guides us in our lives, listen to her loving whispers, she never gives us more than we can withstand ~ A singular night changes everything. Ezekiel makes a choice that topples his world into the clinging dredges of the past and Julieta comes face to face with a male she had once had a foolish little crush on what feels like lifetimes ago. However as they navigate the treacherous waters they have been flung into, they both learn that home is not a simple place, it's where you make it, and who you make it with. ~ You will reach your destiny, Mene wills it. ~

Love and Other Wicked Things by writing00introvert

One story, multiple ways to enjoy it! Read the bestselling published book right here as Wattpad Original or experience the story as a Webcomic on WEBTOON. Dive into the world of love and magic, any way you like to read. *** Sometimes love is the strongest magic of all *** Nineteen-year-old Rhia Greenbrook has lived in the sleepy town of Oakriver in a house with three generations of witches her entire life. Rhia draws her magic from the earth and likes to spend her time amongst plants and nature. Her practice is gentle, sacred, and-per her family's tradition-secret. New-to-town witch Valerie Morgan is looking for answers about her mother's disappearance from Oakriver seventeen years ago. Without her mother's guidance, Valerie has cultivated her fire magic on her own and she makes no effort to keep her powers hidden. Although Rhia is immediately annoyed by Valerie's blatant use of magic, she can't deny the instant magnetism between them. But amidst their magical connection, a dark presence looms over Oakriver. Unsettling visions from Rhia's grandmother and dangerous sleepwalking episodes throw into question Valerie's past and what role her presence plays in the strange happenings. And as Valerie gets tangled up further into the darkness, it's up to Rhia to tap into the full potential of her power in order to save the town she loves and the girl she's fallen for.

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Slide 1 of 10

Tied To The Alpha (#2 New Moon) cover

Rooming with the Wicked cover

Thousands of non-humans line up to confess their love to me | BL, MTL cover

Daddy's Precious Little Girl cover

ဝင်္ကပါထဲကအချစ် (MAZE) cover

A Cold Wind Blows (Forgotten series, #3) cover

Brotherhood of the Wolf cover

A Little Left to Give (Forgotten Series #8) cover

Love and Other Wicked Things cover

Tied To The Alpha (#2 New Moon)

#2 New Moon Series _An enemy of an enemy is a friend_ I have yearned for a mate ever since I learnt of one. Thoughts about having someone who would love me unconditionally plagued my mind every night. Entering the werewolf unraveled many secrets and I eliminated all the filty lies from the clean truth. I was alone in the human world and an outcast in the werewolf world. The day my father decided to accept me was the day I ran away and straight into the arms of his enemy─the Dark Alpha─who was my mate. My world shattered into pieces when I found out every single truth that was buried deep underneath. I had the jewel everyone searched high and low for, and because of that, I was most wanted. And the day I decided to leave my true nature behind... His enemy came for me─the ruler of demon wolves. _Keep your friends close and your enemies closer_ Throughout the miserable, tormenting years I've never met a women so beautiful as her. My beautiful mate. My beautiful weapon. Like me, she's broken in her own ways. I wanted to glue all those shattered pieces together, carving and molding it into my little wolf. The fact that she's my mate didn't change the past. Her father killed my father, leaving me as a broken child forced into training to rule the empire. To continue my father's legacy. To seek revenge. I grew up developing a hatred for hybrids─mixed breeds─I never intended to fall in love with her, nor did I intend to hate her. And yet I did both, but chose one over the other in the end. But my plans took a huge turn when I found out that I wasn't the only apex predator around.