~I'm not me anymore~

~I'm not me anymore~

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i used to think the worst feeling in the world was losing someone you love , but i was wrong .The worst feeling in the world is the moment that you realize you're lost yourself.When you realize that yourself is changing into something you didn't want to become ... one cold motherfucker...I feel like i'm going crazy .. I'm totally paranoid all the time . I really am trying to laugh to cover the tears but ... it's hard ... Some days i'm just feel like turning off my phone. Packing up my shirt .Leaving without saying a word and going ghost for a few weeks. This just because of you ... You make me feel like that ... Because ...
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"and you left me with bad habits like cracking my knuckles and wearing your sweater because the smell of you still lingers. you left me chewing at the skin of my skin on my lips because maybe just maybe if it's gone the taste of you will be too, but the problem is i can't tear off my skin. so i'm left with the shivers down my spine when my body remembers your hands running up my back as you kissed me and it paralyzes me because i miss it. i miss you. i miss smiling between kisses because damn you just made me happy and I thought I made you just as happy because you would smile and whisper "what" but i would just shake my head and pull you close and it was real. it was. all of it. so why did you leave me? why?"

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