Deep Breaths, Darling

Deep Breaths, Darling

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WpMetadataNoticeSon yayınlanan Sal, Ara 10, 2013
I never thought it could end like this, my life I mean. I had never once conceived the idea that I would seek an end so awful. But I guess a child can't truly understand the future, from such a simplistic perspective. With shuffled footsteps, I drew closer to my drawstring bag, unzipping the side pocket. I unclasped the small latch within it, dragging out a compacted shot gun. Dad's favorite for hunting season. 3 Ok, ok breathe. It's just one shot. You won't even feel it. Come on just one bullet. 2 That's it, right to the temple, no mistakes, no mistakes. We can't risk the hospital again, now can we? 1 Let it fly.... With that, the safety clicked back, and the bullet speared the air before me. Gunsmoke flooded the pungnet bathroom, soot collected at my wooded feet. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You stripped the life from your bones. Ripped out the palpitations of your heart. You are lifeless, nonexistent, dead. But, what if you had second chance with life. What if, you could bring your cold heart some warmth. In life, there's a promise to be held. We tred lightly on the subject, for fear of shattering this agreement. Although, there is always someone, who has to defy this will, who strangles the rules layed before them. And fades away with defiance. The promise; life. A promise for which there is no second chance, or so we thought. What no one understands, is the conditions it entails, to come crawling back.
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It's moments like these that make me feel like my soul is entangled with his. It feels like all of the broken pieces of me turned out to be the missing pieces in his puzzle and not at all the worthless trash that I thought they were previously. Every jagged edge dripping with blood that killed the child in me has a home against one of his, which have slowly healed into each other. Huh. Maybe that's just it. Maybe our pasts were meant to be so painful and broken so that when we met, we'd fit each other so perfectly, so snuggly, so completely that nothing would ever be able to break us again. Maybe all of the pain and suffering and loneliness truly did have a purpose after all. Maybe all of it was so that I could become the kind of person that I needed when I was a kid. - - - She is the most selfless, giving, caring, compassionate, intelligent, fearless, ambitious, loyal, kind, stubborn, patient, hardworking, did I mention stubborn-as-hell, woman I have ever met. She treats the world with such kindness even though it has beaten her till she was bloody and bruised more times than you can count. No one in this world deserves happiness and peace more than she does. I just want to grab her demons by the fucking throat and hurt them as bad as they hurt her. I want to hurt Bohr and her dad and Caroline and every person that ever made her feel small or insignificant or made her hate herself. I just want to help her feel happy. She's drowning in front of me and I'm just trying to pull her out of the water.

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