The Black Book - Tell All

Before I begin with... everything, I might as well catch you up on some recent events that have been occurring.. Think of it as the "Last Time On..." part of a show you see before every single episode.

I've been thinking a lot about what happened to me over the summer lately.. I think all the trauma is coming back to me. I've heard that happens sometimes. I haven't really told anyone about what happened to me, especially not the details. The only people who know are Alyssa, Lauren , Serenity, Jana and Gabe. Thinking about what happened tears me apart, makes me feel worthless and scared. Honestly I am scared all the time.. I don't know how to prevent myself from it.Usually the only solution is Gabriel, he makes me feel safe, most of the time. There was that "one" time that he caused me to panic. No means no, it does not mean push me until I break. It was the weirdest feeling, I was scared, scared of the one person I love more than anything in the world. It still makes me sick to my stomach to think about. Anyways I don;t think you are ready for that story quite yet. How about we move onto something else that has been happening in my head lately..... The Dreams.