Bluebells And Blushes

He felt lost in the world. But very soon a special girl would become his world.

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"I'm sorry." I whispered, my rucksack on my back. She had tears in her eyes and more falling down her cheeks. Evey one of them breaks my heart a little more. I soon feel my own tears mingling with the rain streaming down my face.

"When will you return?" Her voice cracks. I look down, unable to look her in the eyes."I will travel the world until I find it in my heart to forgive you. That's when I'll return." She sobs. A part of me only wants throw my arms around her and tell it'll be okay but my other half wants to slap her, grab her shoulders and scream in her face "Why would you do this to me." I can't bring myself to touch her. I know it's terrible but I can feel myself creating those words that claw up my throat, threatening to spill over in a terrible bubbling mass of hatred and hurt.

As much as I love her I hate her too. She broke my heart but I still haven't the power to leave indefinitely. I finally look at her, staring into her eyes, her face tells me about all the guilt, the grief, the self-hatred. I want to memorize that face so when I close my eyes I know she feels bad about it too.

I am aware that I still possess that drawing of her, the one I had sketched in the greenhouse that fateful day. Back then she was just a name. When she saved me I could finally put a face to that name. I close my eyes committing the curves of her nose, the color of her eyes, and the angle of her cheekbones and jaw to memory. I let out a puff of air, my breath condensing in the cold air. I put my head down, my wet bangs sticking to my forehead. The lump in my throat won't go away. I turn around and start to walk away into the fog and rain. "Will." She calls. I stop. There's a moment of silence. "I love you." I shut my eyes squeezing out more tears. I continue to walk and this time,

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