Color Outside The Lines

"Ava. . ."

I slam my favorite sky blue coloring pencil onto my desk in a burning rage, "I can't do this anymore." I scream.

My best friend looks at me, terror etched in her delicate and wide sea foam eyes. I back away, tears stinging my in mine, lump throbbing in my throat. The realization of what I've done spreads through me. I'm no better than them. This is all my fault. Madeline's enduring this to help me.

I fall to my knees.

I can't do this anymore.

I bury my face in my once sturdy hands.

I can't do this anymore.

I start to sob uncontrollably.

I can't-

Arms wrap around me, Madeline's arms. I think of the people, the ones that did this to me. The ones that hurt me. I sob into my best friend's shoulder, she shouldn't have to deal with me. I shake like a little bird in the dead of winter. This is my fault. I surrounded myself by people that fed off the pain of others. I lost myself searching desperately for acceptance. I tried so hard to fly and they consumed me, clipped my wings. It was too late.

Tell me I would never be good enough, and they're right. They've dragged me down with them, and there I will remain. Coloring outside the lines.

"Why would they do this to me?" I ask her.

Madeline shakes her head slightly, whispering into my hair, "I don't know."