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The Life That Doesn't Seem To End [ON HOLD]
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Watch me suffer...you don't feel my pain Hit me hard...you don't care Yet, you show me pity...you don't mean it Why? Is a question I ask most often. Why me? Why did I do to deserve this? Why was I here at the wrong time? Why can't I be normal? Why do you make me wish I was dead? WHY? Since I moved to Los Angeles, my life seen to be nothing but everlasting pain and suffering. Every day is the same thing. You hit me, kick me, mentally break me down all over a little mistake. I would wish death upon all those who hurt me in each and every way, but I was not raised that way. But... I was never taughted to endure so much pain and misery at one time and it's too overbearing. What happens if enough is enough and I can't take it anymore. If I end it all, it would be on your conscious every second, every minute,every hour of the day. Will it drive you to the breaking point. You'll be wishing that your life would end faster than it could possibly could. Now your life is just like mine... A Life That DOESNT Seem To End.
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The Monster Amongst Us
When you're little you're surrounded by people that you're supposed to trust and feel safe with. The people God gave you are supposed to protect and nourish you, they're supposed to encourage positive growth, teach you right from wrong. So where along the lines, does an urge so sinister come into the mix? How are you taught to handle dealing with these types of situations, that most people don't have to face in their lifetime? How can anyone then stand by, defending these acts created against an innocent child? Feeling ostracized by every family member or person they have ever had to tell their truth to, some just to defend the monster? How can you then justify this? Love is love right? No matter the cost, right? How about falling in love with someone so manipulative, so deceitful, so evil and cruel, a cold hard liar. Claiming they are a child of God yet disguised as the Devil himself wreaking havoc, trauma and so much hurt and pain on innocent beings? It's time to face the judgement that lies ahead of all the evil they've committed. Here we dive into..... The Monsters Amongst Us.Dokončeno
Evolution
There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.Dokončeno
Not me. (2023)
so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.Dokončeno
Bittersweet
|| COMPLETED || I want to be ready for college, but I'll be leaving everything behind. I don't want to forget my mom, my friends, or the memories made. Then again, I want to move on, run away from the heart break following me. I want to be free, I need to be free. For everything that I know, college could be a restart for highschool. A time where I don't make mistakes or where bad things don't happen, but I know they will. Though focusing on the negative won't lead me anywhere. Sadly though, that's all I ever learned to focus on. Learning things about my family that disgust me, learning about family members I didn't even know existed. It's all new, like morphing into a new body, you have to learn how to control. Sadly I don't know how to control myself, I can't control my emotions. I want to be ready for college, I am. I'll be leaving everything behind, but I need to escape the pain. ☆☆ Disclaimer - Read my first book 'Reality Hits Hard' to understand this book before reading it. This book is also very childish looking back at it, but I hope you guys enjoy it!Dokončeno
Save Me From The Scars Of Yesterday.
I'm broken beyond repair and yet... I still wish for someone to save the last pieces of me before I completely die away. I only have one wish... And that is for someone to see past the smiling facade... For someone to see through my bright smile... I want someone who will ask me even just for once... If I was alright... If I was okay... But no... Everyone sees no one else but the happy me. Even jealous of how much I was enjoying life... How mistaken they all are...Dokončeno
Unmask
"You trust me, don't you?" he says with a smile, that smile. It had fooled everyone, even me at some point, and for the first time I want to scream with rage and shake the earth to the core. "Give me a hug," he says pulling me out of the chair that feels like a rock underneath me. I am as stiff as a board as his hands circle me, making me feel worse than dirt. His hands reach between my thighs and I want to plunge a knife deep through his chest. The only thing stopping me is, the knife is no where near. I pull back and I don't try to hide the anger in my eyes. I want him to see it. To know that I am coming for him. Rape is chanted repeatedly in my mind, reminding of the lies I just told and the false accusations I am throwing on innocent people. He's probably figured it out anyways, surely a Priest as high as he cannot be deceived. But none of that matters anymore because...... This is just the Beginning.Dokončeno
The Sinborn
Being different, people throw that around like it means something. Like it's normal. Like it's safe. But I'm not just different. I'm alone. No name for what I am. No others like me. Not vampire. Not demon. Not human. Something else. Something wrong. In a world carved by blood and fire, where monsters walk in daylight and humans pretend, they're safe behind silver and salt, I exist between all of it. An anomaly. A threat. A mistake. They watch me. Fear me. But no one understands me. Not yet. And maybe when they do, it'll be too late.
Running from the gang
In life, we do things we regret, or that we wish we could wipe from our memory forever. At the age of 15, I didn't think I'd regret anything until I was an adult. I considered myself care free. I lived life one day at a time. Well, as much as a 15 year old can. But in life, there are also things that we can't change, that we can't forget. Circumstances change, events occur, and life as we know it is altered forever. For me, it was one night, that set in motion a series of events that I wouldn't be able to forget, even if I tried to. *************************** My life was spectacular, or cool, but I was content, and that's all that mattered. I wasn't overly popular, I wasn't the prettiest girl, and I didn't live in a mansion. I did have a great boyfriend, and amazing friends, and hell, I wasn't doing too bad in school either. But that all changed one night, as I was walking home at night. I witnessed a man murder someone he claimed was a snitch, something to do with a gang deal gone wrong. When I found my parents dead the next day in a serial killers wet dream, my naive self decided the best thing I could do, was run, giving up everything I loved. After 2 years, 3 dead members of the gang and a new school, I was found. When secrets are unraveled and with the FBI somehow involved, nothing is as it ever seemed.Dokončeno
When you're little you're surrounded by people that you're supposed to trust and feel safe with. The people God gave you are supposed to protect and nourish you, they're supposed to encourage positive growth, teach you right from wrong. So where along the lines, does an urge so sinister come into the mix? How are you taught to handle dealing with these types of situations, that most people don't have to face in their lifetime? How can anyone then stand by, defending these acts created against an innocent child? Feeling ostracized by every family member or person they have ever had to tell their truth to, some just to defend the monster? How can you then justify this? Love is love right? No matter the cost, right? How about falling in love with someone so manipulative, so deceitful, so evil and cruel, a cold hard liar. Claiming they are a child of God yet disguised as the Devil himself wreaking havoc, trauma and so much hurt and pain on innocent beings? It's time to face the judgement that lies ahead of all the evil they've committed. Here we dive into..... The Monsters Amongst Us.
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