Midnight Thoughts
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Ongoing, First published Apr 20, 2017
"Nothing gold can stay," Robert Frost once said.
My golden time is the time when I'm on the verge of sleep. It's that time that my thoughts are most brilliant me my memories most vivid. So here's my attempt at preserving my golden time.
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Cold Water by adaline_meadows
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[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression
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I'm cold. I'm alone. I'm not angry... at least not anymore. But here I sit. Alone. And Numb. You think on a Friday morning I would be at the office busy with phone calls, returning emails, meeting with clients, and proving to my boss time and time again that I'm his girl to get shit done...to close the deal like I've done so many other times. But after a year of completely throwing myself in my work, sleeping at the office because I refuse to go back to my apartment and using the typical excuse that I stayed late to work on a project, and becoming emotionless to everything and everyone around me, my boss has had enough. "Hannah, you need a vacation. And it's not negotiable."