Torn between two worlds.

Some nights I am weak, yet I am shelter . I am to be bottled. Feels like I'm in a dark hole. Where is the man of my dreams, I've been searching for that dim with a billion dreams.

So fuck it. I'm not hurt I'm sick. I'm sick of the so called corrupt world we live in. I can be your saviour why can you not become my lover. I can give you the world, but you would rather crush it for a couple girls. If I could give you a lifetime of endless love how can you not take it and run. I've poured my heart out to you, is it not enough. I've given you a part of my soul but you treat it like it's old. I've given you many more of the life I wish I gave them all. But you. You cannot comprehend the love I give but rather you pretend and end up like the other men. If I wrote you this poem and you ain't even texting back.

Why am I still here. What is keeping me here. Why can I not run away from this deadly human sin. Can I not run and never look back. Do I need this burden on my shoulder labeled with lies, infested with old lines.

Tables and walls through many doors. What is it going to take for me to realise it is all fake. But I can see it, why can I not run. What is stopping me. Is it the deadly affection I use as daily protection. If I love myself why can I not leave. Maybe it's my broken promises. Or maybe it's him. And his laced up promises written while he was too busy making bitches his mrs. And if I'm so mad I don't blame you I blame myself for not making you old news. So as I lay here. I wonder. If you knew what you were missing. I'm not your usual, in fact, I am worth more than you will ever be used to. I won't beg for you to see and I won't cry for you to hear, nor will I scream for you to understand.

I will disappear for as long as it is clear that my heart is no where near