Half To Worry About: Moon Year

Twenty five years ago, John F***ing Kennedy blew up half the world with his mega atomic bomb... well, it was probably more than twenty five original years, ever since then, Earth hasn't spun the same way--not for me. I'm only twenty four. If I were born just a few years earlier, I would know what it was like. But my parents thought that all of the destruction was so sexy, so they got it on after half the world went up in flames. My mother's name is Goldie Hilliker. Her profession is being a hooker. My dad is George Hilliker. He is okay with my mom being a hooker, as long as he isn't there. My dad is over dramatic, (who isn't these days?) and he thinks he is a vampire. On a sun year, he will always stay in the basement, in a pile of red pillows he calls "the death chamber." My name is Glow. Short for Glowbomb. I didn't choose my name, lets just leave it at that. Oh, and you're probably wondering what a sun year is.
Well, with the earth not a sphere shape anymore, the world orbits around the sun, well, not the same. So 365 days, there will be a gigantic sun, a SCORCHING gigantic sun, as it gets very VERY HOT. The next 365 days are called a moon year. I don't know why, because I've never seen the moon. In a moon year, things tend to