Captain Critiques: A Grumpy Pirate Review Book

(CURRENTLY OPEN)

When it comes to reviews, I'm probably as harsh as the hellhole most story ideas crawl out of.

I'm blunt, sarcasic, to the point and I know what I like in a story. As you can probably guess, you don't wanna take my advice if your like an overprotective mother about your story. Who am I kidding, EVERYONE is like that about their stories.

But, if you could find the courage to pry the story out of your cold, crabby hands so I can give my brutally honest opinion then be my guest.

Just don't try and start a fight once I provide it.

You DON'T wanna fight a pirate.

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I reserve the right to decline stories as this will be taking up quite a bit of my time and if I say no, I mean NO. If your blurb is unreadable I will decline it. If it includes the genres mentioned in my 'Hell No' section then I will send it back where it came from.

Do NOT critique the Captain.