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Inner Workings

Inner Workings

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sat, May 20, 2017
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Non-Fiction
It all started in the 7th grade, or the summer before that I guess. You see, I had always been a very upbeat person, happy, excited. At the young age of 12, I was practically ready to take on the world. But when people start to criticize you, at the young age of 12, it gets to you. You must be wondering who I am by now. Well, for privacy purposes, I've chosen not to disclose my name. For now, you can call me A. And no, this is not a parody of Pretty Little Liars. This is what you could call my online journal, some insight into my thoughts and brain. It's all the stuff I was too afraid to say, but should have. The story of how a young, happy, upbeat 12 year old grew into a self-conscious, distressed adolescent with severe anxiety and possible depression. The story that never stops, content to be continuously added as you follow me on my search to find sanctuary from the suffocation. Welcome to my journey. Welcome to my Inner Workings.
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[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

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