It all started in the 7th grade, or the summer before that I guess. You see, I had always been a very upbeat person, happy, excited. At the young age of 12, I was practically ready to take on the world. But when people start to criticize you, at the young age of 12, it gets to you.
You must be wondering who I am by now. Well, for privacy purposes, I've chosen not to disclose my name. For now, you can call me A. And no, this is not a parody of Pretty Little Liars.
This is what you could call my online journal, some insight into my thoughts and brain. It's all the stuff I was too afraid to say, but should have. The story of how a young, happy, upbeat 12 year old grew into a self-conscious, distressed adolescent with severe anxiety and possible depression. The story that never stops, content to be continuously added as you follow me on my search to find sanctuary from the suffocation. Welcome to my journey. Welcome to my Inner Workings.
I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life.
I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this...
***
#1 physical
#1 cuteguys
#1 addiction
#2 self-esteem
***
Started: 7 November 2022
Finished: 18 April 2024