The story of my inner mind.
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- Parts 2
Not everyone feels the same on the inside. We're all afraid of the people out in the world. The criticism, hateful words, grills, and thoughts of those who wish you weren't alive.
Days like these I only hope and pray " You would take my pain away, end my life". I could slit my wrist but it really wouldn't help. I'm a waste of space here and there . Would you bleed me out? Hang up to dry? All I ask is for you to make me go away. Never to be seen again.
Many reasons behind the fact I want everything to end the way I want it too. You've left me without a choice. I trusted each one of you and you have let me down. Teared my walls down to the deepest ground. I might have broken your heart it was intentionally but you buried mine and now I'm 12ft under ground. Grasping for air as I slowly choke on the wet thick dirt on my face.
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He had rules for a reason, or thats what he said. I did something wrong I got punished. I spoke out of turn, I got punished. I looked at him or ate without permission, I got punished. Haven thats what they named me funny isn't it? Ironic really. They named me Haven because my mom would say I was her 'Safe Haven'. What a pile of shit that was. She left willingly, she didn't depart because of some tragic accident. My father didn't kill her. She left because she was a coward who didn't want kids. As soon as my older brother went to college she left. I knew she hated me. I was the product of her love with another man. A constant reminder that her life didn't work out the way it was planned. He who ever he was is a phantom in its own. A deep rooted fantasy never going to come true. My brother left, my mother left, my grandma ignored, and my father broke. They let me give up hope on escaping and then decided to play hero. But I haven't forgotten everything I went through. Guilt consumes my brother but I don't care, you don't get to leave and then buy a reprieve of trying to save someone who has been dead for years. Besides lets just be honest I reached my breaking point long ago.
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