My Dark Humour
  • Reads 65
  • Votes 1
  • Parts 1
  • Time 7m
  • Reads 65
  • Votes 1
  • Parts 1
  • Time 7m
Ongoing, First published May 11, 2017
Mature
Please be aware some of these jokes are mine and some are not my own, everybody gets inspiration from somewhere such as comedians who influenced me such as Frankie Boyle, Jethro and Jim Davidson.

Also I am NOT a racist, I am NOT Homophobic or anything. Because I like dark humourous​ does not make me a dark person.

WARNING! If you are easily offended please do not read. This book contains sensitive subjects such as disease, racism, disabilities and more. This book is purely for people who like dark jokes and dark humour so to you I hope you enjoy. For those of you who read this description just remember....I DID WARN YOU!

Also please remember these are JOKES!
All Rights Reserved
Sign up to add My Dark Humour to your library and receive updates
or
Content Guidelines
You may also like
The Satan's Eve (Completed)✔ NOT EDITED by Sheewrites_4fun
51 parts Complete Mature
HIGHEST RANKING-1st in wedding! {23/05/18} & 1st in Laugh! {11/08/18} 13th in Romance! {03/12/18} Sequel to Mr Hulk's Jelly Bunny->Can be read as a stand alone book. Evelina/Velina Storm is a 22 year old half human-half vampire girl who works as a Manager at a restaurant despite the fact that her family is wealthy. You can say that she is the good type of girl but once you hit a bad nerve then well...goodluck. One thing she always keeps in mind is to never show her weaknesses no matter how the situation is. Adam Vernom is a 28 year old Vampire who is also a Ceo of the Vernom Company Ltd. He is the type of guy who you never want to mess with. Of all the things he hates, there is only one which he despises the most which is mates. Adam does not believe in mates, he thinks that they only exist just to destroy lives. What will happen when these two meet? What will happen when Adam know that Velina is his mate? Will Velina resist his seducing ability? Will Adam hate her? After all she is his mate... -------- He yanked me closer to him till our breaths became one and our tips of our noses touched. My eyes bulged like freaking saucers and were staring at his hot ones. "Satan huh? Then Let me show you how he is like." In one swift movement he crashed his plum lips onto mine. I wanted to push him away but could not. I felt my knees buckled and my stomach churned. There was a strange sensation which was restraining me from pushing him away. He plunged his moist tongue inside my mouth exploring every inch of it. My heart was racing and my breaths were hot. I could not help but move in sync with his pace. It was as if it was a magnet pulling me more and more to him. ------- P.s : Please do not copy or take my ideas as they are purely original and my imaginations. Thank you. ♡Also! If you enjoyed this story don't hesitate to share it with your friends! ;)
Care | ✔︎  by EroticMarie
38 parts Complete Mature
"The Caregiver and the Mob Boss" ❦ Avelina makes her money by taking care of those who can't take care of themselves. When she is handed a case about a man who had needed a personal caregiver, she accepts. One thing Avelina never anticipated was the dangerous lifestyle he lived. Not only that, but she didn't expect for him to be so incredibly good-looking. Adrik Zolotov, the Russian mobster that everyone called "Mad Hatter". His insanity and crave for blood left him the most feared man of all. All he wanted was power and those around him to fear him. For a man recently diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, everyone believed him to be emotionally incapable of ever loving anyone. . . Imagine their surprise when he meets Avelina. ❦ "Mr. Zolotov, I have to make sure you bathe before I leave. It's apart of my jobs protocol," she said softly. The truth was that he made her feel nervous. There was so much coldness and evil in his eyes, it left a chill to run down her spine. "Fine," he stated before walking over to his bathtub. Her eyes followed his movements as he pulled off his shirt causing her to lick her lips and quickly look away. She could hear the sound of more clothes falling onto the ground until the sound of water running littered her eardrums. "You assist when asked, isn't that right?" He asked. Slowly, she opened her eyes to see that he had already gotten into the shower. "Yes," Avelina answered. "Bathe me." ❦ Dangerously far from cliché
Don't Tell  by AdamLevineismybae15
88 parts Complete Mature
"W-we can't d-do this." I said shakily as he locks the door behind him and it immediately shut off the noises of the drunk adults laughter. "We've been over this Jess, stop acting like you don't want me as much as I want you." he said as he walks towards me but I back up a step and he stopped. "Are you really going to fucking test me Jess?" He said with anger clear in his voice. I felt the anxiety in me rise up and tears brim my eyes at him getting mad because I know what that leads to. "I want you on the bed with no clothes and if you disobey me." he let out a dry chuckle; I almost ran at how dark it came out. "Well, you know that part, don't you?" •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• This story covers the youth of Jess first and the later chapters is where she blooms...... I guess we all can see her growth.... Warning🚩🚩🔶🔶: This book is not for those who get triggered.... There is some crazy things in here that some would find uncomfortable.... So if you feel you will be triggered.... Simply don't read please and have a good day. *This story will have some typos, I will correct them in due time. Sorry if that bothers y'all💜 *I started this book when I was in middle school. #1 - Adam Levine *Completed* Go check out my other account and new book! @Deathandhiskisses Book Title: Forgive Me
You may also like
Slide 1 of 10
Dressed To Kill cover
The Gory Details (Gross) cover
Emo Frisky Time cover
The Satan's Eve (Completed)✔ NOT EDITED cover
Reality of Reality|goodguyfitz¹ cover
15 Days With The Possessive Billionaire cover
„You don't know me!" | Jacksepticeye x reader cover
Care | ✔︎  cover
The BEANIE show!!! cover
Don't Tell  cover

Dressed To Kill

69 parts Complete Mature

"It's funny that you are saying this because if one of us is jealous, then it's you. Or did you forget that you just pushed the man I was dancing with away from me and dragged me out of the club? Where is he anyway and where the hell are Vivian and Felicia?" I say, raising my voice. "Don't worry about them. They are up there, waiting for you and what Valentino concerns, he is taken good care of." He says with a grin on his face and a clenched jaw. ~~~~~ "You know what? I have never realized it before, but you have such perfect lips. I bet they would look even better wrapped around my cock... but then I remember the shit that always comes out of your mouth, and I just want to throw up." He says, looking at me with disgust. ~~~~~ "You little piece of shit won't call me "dude" because I am not one of your trashy friends and she is not a girl you can just fuck one time and throw away then. She is my fucking wife." "And she is way out of your league, dude," I add. ~~~~~ "What the hell happened and whose family do I have to rot out?" #1 badboyinlove March 2022 #1 luxury March 2022 #1 hot April 2022