Rants
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WpMetadataReadOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sun, Feb 28, 2021
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I hate it there I hate it that I cannot do anything. I hate everytime something got broken or something bad happen it will always be my fault. I hate how he can believe them, how he can heed to their advices and request and not listen to mine. I hate when he cannot do anything but to nod and be quiet even if they are talking bad about me in front of him. I hate HIM, but I cannot do anything because I cannot live without him. I hate it that I cannot tell him all this pent up emotions that I have. I hate it that whenever I am hurt, I just cry. I hate it when he just listens and never once tried to console me. I hate it thay whatever happens it will always be my fault. I hate it.
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I once loved this boy, the feelings were intoxicating. It took over. I was being tortured by this unrequited love I felt for almost two years. This is my journey of figuring out how to live with it. "Summary": Hurt me, beat me, with the violence of words, and I will explode But maybe it hurts for a reason I want to hurt him I am me because of him Maybe I need the pain to live The only thing I know is that I'm dying Now I have to live with the consequences of the things he did(n't) do He'll hurt me no matter what he does Maybe hell and heaven are the same thing, but I choose to die his way We would be perfectly flawed and unperfectly flawless together, if only he could love me once But darling, I have a fear of falling apart This is a cry for help I'm crashing Fight for me, fight against me, fight against him But isn't it fear that keeps me alive also? I don't hurt anymore I am in so much pain I am a disaster waiting to happen I'm not afraid to die A lot of love to give, and no love gotten I love the things that kill me, and kill the things that love me It hurts to love him, but you can love someone without loving yourself, in that destructive kind of way

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