Empty were the hallways when we first returned.
Reminiscing, as we each took a step,
Realizing she is gone, never to return.
I denied the fact that something like this could happen,
You never think that this would ever happen,
But then it did.
My denial of the situation subsided,and
I became angry. My rage felt larger than a volcano's eruption.
But, even the angry fled from my kindred spirit.
Soon, I felt numb about the incident.
Distancing myself and staying in my room.
Not moving, not talking, just lying there with a blank expression,
Dreaming that this did not happen.
I still have not accepted this.
Her suffering has led to my aching.
I now notice things
Such as the complexity of a beautiful butterfly.
But I will not stop to be tormented my thoughts.
I will push forward.
Elliot's partner was his whole world, but after Allan's death, his ghost haunts Elliot's dreams. Everyone tells Elliot to move on, but he isn't sure he can.
*****
It's been a year since the love of Elliot's life, Allan, passed away. Everyone thinks he should have recovered after that much time, but Allan still haunts Elliot every night. He struggles to maintain relationships with his family, and despite a coworkers interest he can't summon up the courage to date. Elliot is living for the past, because to live for the present means he'll have to live with a hole in his heart. But the question Elliot has to face chases him through his monotonous days: is mourning Allan with everything he has truly living?
[[word count: 40,000-50,000 words]]