Energy

Energy

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WpMetadataReadComplete Mon, May 15, 2017<5 mins
All that energy is gone. I'm worried I can't keep up. It's not that I'm sad. The medication takes care of that. It's just dull and colors aren't as bright. The anxiety bites. I'm so worried. Full of fear. Fear that you'll leave, because you know there's better. You know someone can keep up with you better. Maybe I am sad. Sad that I doubt myself so thoroughly. I've been trying to get to where I was, but I seem to have lost the way.
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Don't fear death. It does nothing for you. Death is at every turn; the challenge is if you choose to accept it or not. Don't fear pain. Pain is how you learn. Pain is the side-effect of life. If you live life fearing getting hurt...can you truly live life fully? I've felt pain. I've accepted death. I've lived, I've learned, I've drowned a few times. If all I have to show for it is small bundles of letters and words...so be it. That's more than I could have ever hoped for. Everything that means anything to me are just words. You can put anything into words. Anything and everything. You can put death into words. You can put pain into words. You can put fear into words. And I have. And you can read them, if you want. You can learn from them; learn to stop fearing, learn to stop living in the future, behind your mask. But only if you care enough to listen. I speak loud and clear, yet nobody can hear me. I am not hidden, yet nobody can find me. If they even try.

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