God's First Date
- Reads 354
- Votes 12
- Parts 3
ATTENTION :- Normie's not allowed to trespass beyond this point.
We all know god, the inhuman supernatural force which is the cause of creation and destruction of our lives. He has all the control over our lives , but not his'.
What if he was as awkward as the rest of us when he was a teen. What if heaven isn't all fun and games, but a race of bitches and fame.
Join god as he goes through existential crises and nervous breakdowns and fixes his mood by one stress busting repetitive process which begins with "M" and ends with "N". {hint :-Meditation (not!)
Will god conquer his insecurities and man up ?
Preferably. Will we have fun reading his exploits? Quite possibly. Hotel ? Trivago.
- DankWorks
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Perfect Storm
Enemies to lovers- Boss/employee- Bickering and Bantering- Billionaire romance Second chance romance HEA romance novel If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. When I saw a job opportunity to work at a resort a few hours north of the cities, including a place to stay, rent-free, I jumped on it. But, unfortunately, what I didn't know was that the one who owned the resort was a man I owed a huge chunk of money to. All because of an accident I still believe he caused. Ian Lockwood isn't like any other guy I've ever met. The man's devastatingly handsome, gorgeous to be exact, and his green eyes are so damn intoxicating and intense that they wretchedly became windows to my soul. But he had one ugly attitude that turned me off. Calling Ian a jerk is an understatement. He's a straight-up asshole. Every time we're around each other, he does and says whatever he can to get my blood to boil. And he enjoys every minute of it. The problem I have with him is that he's an enemy. Yet whenever I'm near him, the irresistible fragrance that pours off him enhances my desires, and the area between my thighs intensively pulsates. And if my attraction to the asshole increases, I'm afraid he'll catch on to those feelings and take advantage of it by using me to pay off my debt. Even though Ian gets under my skin, I find myself falling for him the more bickering and bantering we do every time we're around each other. And if I can't get these uncontrollable desires of being with Ian under control, I'm afraid Ian and I will find ourselves underneath the sheets. That is if I don't see myself knocking him out of his misery before then.Complete
Reality of Reality|goodguyfitz¹
We have Calcium in our bones Iron in our veins Carbon in our souls and Nitrogen in our brains 93% stardust with souls made of Flames we are all just stars with people names a goodguyfitz fanfiction social media format (it's an experience) this is one of the funniest books I've ever written, and it's only funny to me because I have those spicy dad jokes you hear lowercase intended updated when I feel like it (probably once a week at some point) all credit @ me lol t.w. mentions of violence, drugs, alcohol, and other mature themes. read at your own risk, babies. there's def gonna be smut this time, guys, but it won't be too bad, I promise. p.s.a. people like to give me and other writers shit about oc books. leave it alone. it's my work and I want to share it because I put time and effort into it. I'm not here to please every individual person. my style of writing is just different from yours. ~negative comments will be deleted~ ~don't dm your hate, you pussies~ highest rankings #71 out of 1.99K in #misfits #91 out of 2.06K in #fitz #4 out of 452 in #socialmediastory reached 1K on 13/08/19 reached 2K on 20/09/19Complete
FEISTY BeasT
I aburtly stand from my bed when I heard my apartment door opening with a 'THUD' sound.I quickly run to the front room only to see a guy sucking a blonde gals face, so because I'm such a jerk I cross my arms on my chest leaning on the doorframe of my room while the mystery guy take the girl to the sofa reaching her dress zip at the back. Now my beautiful night eyes won't like to see naked body of my own sex but I wouldn't mind seeing naked...ugh get a grip jer "sorry to interrupt your beautiful lusting moment but WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY F.U.C.K.I.N.G APARTMENT?!?!" They both jumped from their seat and I get to see their faces the girl is familiar and the bo__what the hell??? And the mystery guy just smirk at me.. WHEN YOU SUDDENLY happen to see your father made suicide, your world will completely shatter, he was your only family. But then you have incredible friends as family to let you go through it, and much more, life has different twist for u. Get to see what your fate wrote... *********##########********* Guyz bitch is back enjoy my book and do give it a try please...and I'm sure u will like it!! Update every SSunday WARNING- I suck at descriptionComplete
Hannah
Hannah And her Happy Harem After spending her entire life training to become an Olympic level gymnast only to suffer one too many injuries for her body to stay competitive in the sport she loved. Hannah finds herself in deep financial trouble. With few marketable skills outside the gym. To pay the bills and help her family, Hannah comes up with a creative, exotic side business. She got a little carried away being creative with the business aspect though and might be in over her head. Everything had been going fine. No one had noticed what she was doing, her business was doing great. She was able to take care of herself and her father comfortably. That is until her latest performance circuit. She had finally booked some big shows, a top tier set at Red, a night performing at a new drag cabaret bar, and finally a private show for an international company. It was supposed to be another long weekend of working two jobs at once. Just like all the other ones she had suffered through the past three years. Except on this trip, irresistible men keep finding her, and she can't find it in herself to resist. One after another, Hannah finds men she can't stop thinking about, men who feel like they are a part of her. Men who know how to pleasure her in ways she had no idea she needed. Men who have more than a few confessions to make to her when the time is right. Enjoy trailing behind Hannah through a whirlwind, steamy romance. Smut warning of highest order. It is reverse harem after all. Girl is going to get it good friends.Complete
Contraindication
[WATTYS 2022 SHORTLIST] "Hello again, Pizza Boy?" I glanced up at him with a smile. The blood was rushing out my head but it didn't bother me. "Are you back to make another attempt on my life?" "Shut up," he fumbled, absolutely petrified. "I-I hate you!" I laughed as we were both red in the face; one more sticky then the other, "Aww, I hate you too." My hands held my non-beating chest. "It's mutual trust me. But I guess you really want your Xbox back huh?" -- 17 year-old Evelyn Gates has a quiet yet witty personality. She usually stays in the background and is mediocre at literally everything... just ask anyone. She enjoys the smell of pizza and watching Guy Fieri stuff his face with food in her free time. Oh, and there's one more thing... she's immortal. That's right, Evelyn can't die, and she doesn't know why. Her body just magically puts itself back together again after tragic incidents. She calls it a curse, but the one other person who knows about it calls it a miracle. It's not until her pizza order turns deadly and her mom's boyfriend changes his outlook on life, when Evelyn finds out that there might be some more people involved with her immortality; people who are puppeteering her life and will stop at nothing but to destroy her. - Featured on: @TeenFiction 'FunnyBones' reading list: October 6th, 2021 @StoriesUndiscovered 'The Power of Laughter' reading list: June 1st -30th, 2021 -- Since mock websites are becoming more common, unfortunately, I have to give the disclaimer that this story is only being published on Wattpad. If you see it anywhere else let me know so I can warn my followers and also be aware that it could make your device vulnerable to malware. --- Started: August 18th 2020 Completed: April 12th 2021Complete
My Hot And Sexy But Also Slightly Disturbing Story With The Mafia Man
"Okay, so I'm the type of girl that's spent most of her adolescent, hormonal years reading steamy stories on some reading app. My favourite type of books? Hot Italian Mafia books. Don't ask me why, but there's something about a spaghetti speaking drug lord that's always been so hot to me. I grew up in Canada, a country that doesn't have that much linguini speakers. My goal: When I'm eighteen, I'm moving to America, finding myself a hot mafia guy in New York and making him kidnapp me, and that's exactly what I did." Malia is a crazy, smart ass, optimistic nineteen year old. She finally moves to America to pursue her medical student dreams. She has a decent job, but it's not enough to pay for her student loans and rent, so she does what any other human being would do- borrows money from one of the biggest mafia families in New York. When she's unable to pay off her debt, she finds herself in a situation that fourteen year old Malia would've killed to be in: she's on the Italian Mafia's radar. The D'Angelo family is dangerous, filthy rich and of course, Italian. Luca D'Angelo is a smug, cocky, arrogant, sexy mob boss- so basically Malia's dream guy. When she gets kidnapped by Luca in order to pay back her debt, it's a sick, twisted, steamy dream come true for Malia Nelson. It's every clichè, comical, cringy situation that's ever happened in any mafia book, all crammed into this pile of shit. How bad can it be? Includes: DADDY KINK BDSM A HOT PIECE OF LASAGNA BOYXBOY EVEN THO THEY ACT LIKE THEY AINT GAY BUT WE ALL KNOW ITS LIES TEACHERXSTUDENT TEACHERXCOWORKER TEACHERXCLASSPET THE TEACHER IS FUCKING EVERYONE A BOOK FILLED WITH YOUR DEEPEST DARKEST SEXIEST FANTASIES Disclaimer: This is a parody of every Mafia book written on wattpad. Enjoy!Complete
Book 1✔️ Sugar Baby
Highest Ranking #1 adultthemes (01/05/19) #1 eroticromance (24/10/2019) #1 adultromance (26/06/2019) #1 sugardaddy (05/08/2019) #1 couple (16/08/2019) #1 mature (16/10/2019) #2 romance (2/11/2019) #2 ceo (23/03/2020) "You need to shut up baby. Let me take care of your needs. Can you do that for me?" He unzipped my dress, as it falls freely down to the floor. ***** Lori was a socialite, she lived a life of luxury until her parents got a divorce and she was forced to live on her own. She struggled with financing her education and trying hard to maintain her high standard of living. She finally gave up when her best friends treated her like she has the plague and cut her off, then her boyfriend was forced to end things with her when his parents didn't want him to be associated with Lori because of her family's scandal. And that's when she decided to take the offer to be a sugar baby, thinking she'll treat it as a summer job and end it as soon as she's back on her feet again. ********** James never needed a girlfriend. He's a workaholic. He likes the arrangement of a sugar baby where he can pay a sum of money for a companion of a young attractive woman. His friend suggested the idea. With the last sugar baby being too attached to him. It's time for him to find another one. A less demanding one. His eyes locked into the beautiful fragile young woman with an attitude to match. Her fiery yet nervous attitude was refreshing for him, and he wanted her for himself. Will he get what he paid for? Will she get back on her feet? ********** Completed: May 2019 *Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*.Complete
Radicle (Terminal trilogy #2, can stand alone)
Nichael is an angel. And that's all you really need to know about him- he follows the rules. He loves Michael, his leader. He fights demons when he is called on, and otherwise tills the earth of Heaven. But then he is sent to Hell to spy on Michael's behalf, and there he meets a mysterious demon who seems intent to make him remember something he knows he shouldn't. He also gets pulled under the metaphorical wing of the egomaniacal Stacy Baruth, a possible criminal and certain mastermind, who guides Nichael to demons who don't fear angels- they worship them. Caught between who he is expected to be and who he used to be, Nichael is confused, trusted with too much power, and overall, a threat to his loved ones. As cults grow, friends grow distant, and he falls in love, nothing is clearer than one simple fact: Nichael is an angel. Nothing more, nothing less. -∆- Now featuring character art by me for most of the main cast! more coming, too! FANTASTIC cover done by @summergirl21! -∆- About identity, names, gender, family, and belief. What a mixed bag of fun! Technically a sequel, stands alone. I'd say the suggested age is 14+ (why does wattpad only have mature/not mature?!?). There is some violence and language as the story goes along, as well as sexual references. Also, way more light hearted than the description suggests! There is humor. (and, because this is the world's longest bio, no, Radicle is not a hip misspelling of Radical.... google it guys!)Complete
Enemies to lovers- Boss/employee- Bickering and Bantering- Billionaire romance Second chance romance HEA romance novel If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. When I saw a job opportunity to work at a resort a few hours north of the cities, including a place to stay, rent-free, I jumped on it. But, unfortunately, what I didn't know was that the one who owned the resort was a man I owed a huge chunk of money to. All because of an accident I still believe he caused. Ian Lockwood isn't like any other guy I've ever met. The man's devastatingly handsome, gorgeous to be exact, and his green eyes are so damn intoxicating and intense that they wretchedly became windows to my soul. But he had one ugly attitude that turned me off. Calling Ian a jerk is an understatement. He's a straight-up asshole. Every time we're around each other, he does and says whatever he can to get my blood to boil. And he enjoys every minute of it. The problem I have with him is that he's an enemy. Yet whenever I'm near him, the irresistible fragrance that pours off him enhances my desires, and the area between my thighs intensively pulsates. And if my attraction to the asshole increases, I'm afraid he'll catch on to those feelings and take advantage of it by using me to pay off my debt. Even though Ian gets under my skin, I find myself falling for him the more bickering and bantering we do every time we're around each other. And if I can't get these uncontrollable desires of being with Ian under control, I'm afraid Ian and I will find ourselves underneath the sheets. That is if I don't see myself knocking him out of his misery before then.
More detailsContent Guidelines