FADED
  • Reads 222
  • Votes 9
  • Parts 6
  • Time 1h 10m
  • Reads 222
  • Votes 9
  • Parts 6
  • Time 1h 10m
Ongoing, First published May 26, 2017
I sat down and opened the bottle, took a sip and put the wine on the piano. 

I closed my eyes and played Fur Elise. This was the first song I learned to play on the piano, the first and last song my mom teached me. 

There I was sitting on my mom's lap...   My fingers on her fingers. She closed her eyes and I was looking at her with a big smile while we were playing our favourite song. I took another sip from the bottle. 

Didididim... Mmm... Diriririmmm... 


"Ssssst," I heard someone saying behind me while I could feel the cold gun that was pushed against my back. 

That's where I woke up and opened my eyes. I already stopped playing but the music was still going on in my mind.

Didididim... Mmm... Diririririmmm...  

My eyes were closing, I couldn't see it anymore. Everything was becoming a big blur. Nothing was clear anymore, it faded away. 

Especially after my mom had left me alone.
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ɪɢɴɪᴛᴇ by kakiaa_
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ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀᴏᴜꜱ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴇɴɢᴜʟꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʟᴀᴍᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ʜᴇʟʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴍʏ ʜᴏᴍᴇ. They burnt my flowers down, imagine how mad they would go when they see they grew back as thorns. They should've made sure the heavens weren't on my side when they killed me. For I have returned in devils form to claim vengeance for the girl I used to be. "Who are you?" I have built up walls of concrete, I caged that strange organ in the centre of my chest because it stands as weakness. But it is melting melting melting, my defences are crumbling, my heart is beating. It's strange. ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀᴏᴜꜱ. No one has ever dealt with love without getting their hands burnt. ᴮᵘᵗ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵘⁿⁱᵛᵉʳˢᵉ ˢʰⁱᶠᵗᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵒᵐᵉⁿᵗ ᵐʸ ᵉʸᵉˢ ᵐᵉᵗ ʰⁱˢ. "I cannot love you." "So hate me." "I tried that a long time ago." "And what happened?" "𝘐 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥." They spent years torturing me, teaching me I was unlovable, a monster incapable of loving. So I believed love was much like sand, an unattainable something which would slip through my fingers the moment I tried to grasp it. But now my battered heart gnaws its way out my body, pouncing into my stained hands, begging, pleading, falling on its goddamn knees as it tells me: '𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑, 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢.' TW.⚠️
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❝𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.❞ I gasped, squeezing the sheets of the bed. His long fingers entered me, making me close my eyes as I soaked in the feeling of his gentle touch. ❝𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞.❞ I bury my face in the white blanket, trying to silence my moans, but in fail. ❝𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞? 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭, 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞?❞ ❝𝐘𝐨𝐮.❞ I whispered. ❝𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮.❞ His eyes are so soft, so magical, so 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥. I want to dive into his arms and never let him go. He places his lips on mine, whispering gently. ❝𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞.❞ ❦ 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐭 My life had meaning. Until I saw 𝐡𝐢𝐦 again. The reason why we wake up every day, looking out of the window, only to check if we were really 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 or if this was just some simulation of 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞. 𝐀𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫. He came to me. Looking for help. I don't want to help him, but didn't had other choice. He had to die, even if it means I have to 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦. 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨 I came to her for help. 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚 𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐚. The girl who kept me awake at 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. I knew her a long time ago, or at least I thought I did. Until she and her scheming family stabbed us in the back. And I needed her. In 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐲, but at the end of it all, I had to make sure 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝.
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In and out. In and out. Step by step. Keep moving. This is all I think about. I feel empty since my perfect world crashed and burned. My mom died of cancer when I was twelve. A year later my father became a raging alcoholic. My brother became a party animal and a player. Sure he checked up on me, but never noticed the fake smile and the bruises under my make up. Behind that smile, Cass is broken. Behind the happy face, hides emotional scars. She is broken, abandoned, and bruised. She tells herself to keep moving, but her steps are slowing. She can't find a point to keep living until the boy next door peaks her interest. Can he help her find her true self again? Will he fill the missing parts of heart? Can she keep breathing in a world that is trying to suffocate her? THIS IS MY FIRST BOOK ON WATTPAD. YES, IT IS REALLY CRAPPY. I KNOW. WARNING: Contains scenes of self harm and suicidal tendencies. Also contains sexual scenes.