I and Her and It

They told me to be alert to be awake, I thought I was but I guess I was wrong.

Now I feel as awake as ever lying on the same bed that she embraces me on. I know that what I do is wrong, I know it. And it doesn't matter. People carry on with their lives around me, raising beautiful families to continue on their precious generations, providing services for patients and treating them with the upmost care, or just living for themselves and having a good time. That's what she does. I am extremely aware of what she does especially as her fingertips roam across my bare body, she has lips that taste of anticipation. I could recite everything that everyone warned me about her and prove to you why I was still in love with her, or I could lay here, staring at the ceiling imagining the tingling sensation in my chest if she were here. If she hadn't left. If she didn't have to leave. If she didn't want to leave.

This little room I call my home confines me, it takes away my freedom and it locks people out. It keeps the danger away, keeping me comfortable and content.

I'm bracing myself to enter into the danger zone I've created between us and I'm unsure of what I've let myself in for...