Story cover for Numb by lola_sanch52
Numb
  • WpView
    Reads 73
  • WpVote
    Votes 6
  • WpPart
    Parts 3
  • WpHistory
    Time 17m
  • WpView
    Reads 73
  • WpVote
    Votes 6
  • WpPart
    Parts 3
  • WpHistory
    Time 17m
Ongoing, First published May 28, 2017
Mature
When my brother died, a part of me died with him. 
When my father figure got charged for rape, I broke. 
And when my mother killed herself, I was demolished. 
But I swept my shattered pieces under a rug and put up a front. I acted like I was fine, like what little I had left of me wasn't slowly dying inside. That sorrow wasn't consuming me with every breath I took, until I became numb.
"You can't save me, no one but myself can."
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"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard