Dear Diary - The phan In our smut - Wattpad

Story cover for Dear Diary by Thephaninoursmut

Dear Diary

Thephaninoursmut

Reads 75
Votes 8
Parts 5
Time 5m

Reads 75
Votes 8
Parts 5
Time 5m

Thephaninoursmut

Mature

2009 2012 2022 amazingphil boyxboy cute danhowell danisnotonfire depression diaries gay happyeverafter lgbt lgbtq phandom phillester readatownrisk selfharm triggerwarning

[trigger warning]
  
  June 3rd, 3:43 Am, 2009
  Dear Diary,                                                                     
  I don't know why I'm returning here, relying on thin pages to solve my problem; but here I am anyways. It won't fix my issues by writing them and crying but at least it eases my raging thoughts, making them rush to a halt. This small worn out diary is a reminder, life has no happy endings like they do in books or movies: the world is harsh and cold. The world waits for no one, the world is a rush of lights, people and of course pain. 
  
  I am glass, broken glass with rigged edges and sharp corners.
  My skin is torn like a teddy bear ripped at the seams from the hands of abuse: but in this story, I am my own abuser.
  My body is a gallery of scars and thick red lines, each with meaning and a background story. 
  when will my pain end?
                                                                                                                                                             [Dan Howell]All Rights Reserved

2009 2012 2022 amazingphil boyxboy cute danhowell danisnotonfire depression diaries gay happyeverafter lgbt lgbtq phandom phillester readatownrisk selfharm triggerwarning

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5 parts

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struggling➾ phan (complete) by -aesthetichowell-

update:: this was written about two years ago, the writing is quite bad, I apologize in advance //trigger warning// //dans pov// "do you love me phil ?" "maybe i do"

suicide hotline / phan by kiremio

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Hopeless (Dan Howell X Reader) by scocophilia

"I'm sorry," he began, stepping forward "I couldn't say this over the phone. I couldn't. I just... I was so happy!" Your face fell, you were sitting here, dreading everything you had ever done, and he was happy. "When you told me, my heart stopped, I - I couldn't speak... I love you (Name.) and I couldn't tell you that, without wanting to touch you, to hold you, to make you mine, and just... just look at you." He sighed, his cheeks beet red, your own matching him style. TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED, WILL HATE, OR ARE SENSTIVE TO TOPICS INVOLVING DEPRESSION/ANXIETY #2 Dan #10 YOUTUBE

Unspoken Words - Life Unfolded in Pages by MyInvisibleButterfly

An OhmNanon Short For the words we cannot speak, for the fears that keep us awake, for the memories that shape us, and the love that binds us-there is only one place where we are truly ourselves. Our journals. Ohm and Nanon's lives have always been intertwined, but within the pages of their private journals, between the lines, lie the truths they could never say aloud. What do their journals reveal about the unspoken battles they've fought? And what happens when those words finally come to light? **Disclaimer:** Please be aware that there are malicious websites mirroring Wattpad content. These sites may contain viruses and harmful links that could compromise your device's security. To ensure a safe reading experience, please read the story exclusively on Wattpad. Stay safe and enjoy the journey!

Leedle (Percico) by blackbeltbek

1.9.2011 - 3:27 A.M. My mind is killing me with simply over thinking. I need sleep. 1.10.2011 - 9:03 A.M. Have you ever wanted to cry? But yet no tears came out? To scream but you couldn't even say a word? To stay together as your heart broke into pieces? 1.10.2011 - 12:37 P.M. The worst part is that they believe I'm okay. 1.11.2011 - 4:10 A.M. Somebody asked if I missed who I was before this. And I said yes. But I lied. How am I supposed to know if I don't remember happiness? 1.13.2011 - [blood splattered] I am so sorry that I had to [smudge from tears and ink] myself. I didn't think anyone else [blood] 1.13.2011 - 3:17 P.M. Just because I'm alive doesn't mean I'm alive. 1.14.2011 - 4:50 A.M. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I [blood] 't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. 1.15.2011 - 3:18 A.M. Pain Pain Go away Slit my wrists Watch me fade Pain pain End this game Slit my throat End this today 1.17.2011 - 4:01 P.M. Do you ever feel like breaking d

Break Me (Phan) by MySecretsX

COMPLETE *** In this world, you're marked with black. That's if you have a soulmate, at least. Everyone is destined to cross paths with the one who is meant for them, at least once in their lives. When you and your soulmate meet, you will touch, if only briefly, and the exact area of skin you touch with the other turns from black to white, with streaks of blue, purple, yellow, all marbled in with each other. Daniel Howell is well known in town. People cross the street if they're approaching him and newcomers to the neighborhood are warned about his presence. Exactly like the Lester's were. But Phil Lester has other ideas, he saw the pain within the boy, how bad can he really be? (A story about abuse, self-destruction, but ultimately, love. Please read safe.)

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anathema ; phan by rosespjm

{edited} "won't you go to someone else's sleep? won't you go to someone else's head? haven't you taken enough from me? won't you torture someone else's sleep?" TW : depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, actual suicide attempt. read at your own risk.

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Slide 1 of 8

struggling➾ phan (complete) cover

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Hopeless (Dan Howell X Reader) cover

Unspoken Words - Life Unfolded in Pages cover

Leedle (Percico) cover

Break Me (Phan) cover

dan + phil cover

anathema ; phan cover

struggling➾ phan (complete)

update:: this was written about two years ago, the writing is quite bad, I apologize in advance //trigger warning// //dans pov// "do you love me phil ?" "maybe i do"