Catfish Inc.

Catfish Inc.

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WpMetadataReadOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Tue, May 1, 2018
"When something smells fishy, we reel em in for the catch" Excerpt: ""Us women are extremely special and unique beings. And when it comes to a breakup, we all react in different ways". The auditorium fills with murmurs as the giant projector screen comes to life. I clear my throat to recapture their attention. "Exhibit A: we have the "stuff your face with anything over 300 calories and cry dramatically while watching The Fault In Our Stars" type of reaction". Laughs fill the room as the image of the young girl described appears on the screen. "Exhibit B: we have what I like to call "The Rager": the girl who goes and gets a new look, alters her personality and more than likely eggs her ex's car while blasting loud music and tuning out the world. And lastly, you have me. When I was going through heartbreak I didn't stuff my face or become depressed or change who I was, I made it into a business: Catfish Inc. We are an organization that specializes in catching all the heartbreakers of the world and letting them know that we are stronger than they are and that we will not stand being hurt, and played, and abused. We are Catfish Inc. and when something smells fishy..." I raise my fist in the air and wait for the audiences response, "WE REEL EM IN FOR THE CATCH". The audience erupts into a thunderous applause as my best friend and partner in crime joins me on stage and we nod, and exit.
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You see, there are these apps where anybody can write books, stories and the sort and one day, scrolling the FB (which I don't usually do but I kill time with it on occasions) my eyes fell on a title that made me scoff. The title, 'Mafia in Love'. I remember I laughed terribly then, one of the very few times I laughed, or smiled for that matter. Some people truly feel they know anything about Mafia. It was not far from the truth, though. We are in love. We are in love with money, power, luxury and women. Actually more like to f. women. A lot. At least that's what I love. We love to say "Forget abou'it!" when actually we don't forget at all. Oh, and guns. Yeah, I was in love with my own that was never far from me, always nicely tucked in the belt of my suit pants, always my best companion. I can't even count how many times it saved my life. So, unless the story was about that, I was positive it was nothing but a load of crap and bullshit, probably written by a silly teenage girl who fell in love with some actor playing in a mafia movie. Either way, I laughed and forgot about it. For a while. Until I saw it again in a notification flashing on the screen of my phone while I was shitty high, bored and pissed in the office of my favorite club. My name is Don Raffaello Capozzi and this is the story of my only love. *Mature content"

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