Zombie Outbreak Survival Guide (2018)

Thank you to all of the 15 million North American Zombie Outbreak Response Militia participants from the United States, Mexico, and Canada who bought the $10 memberships and those who gave donations ranging from one dollar to entire life savings in millions.

With the grand total of over 1 trillion USD-yes trillion with a T!-the leaders and officers of NAZORM have joined with the newly created rogue branch of the Center for Disease Control and Prevention with their goal focusing on the cure to this pandemic.

We have used the proceeds towards scientific and medical research for a cure or at the very least, a vaccine, the manufacturing of this handbook you are reading right now, radios with specific frequencies for communication, advertisements to recruit more members, and paid ASAP shipping to every NAZORM member.

Time is running out however and the climax of the pandemic, the point of no return, or in simpler terms sh*t hitting the fan is imminent. We have an estimated five weeks left! When it does, civilization will collapse and all that will remain will be the survivors; you. We are working as fast as we can to utilize the proceeds to the fullest extent before money is rendered useless and we lose access to resources from the fallout.

Meanwhile, hopefully, you will take the time to read this handbook to ensure your safety and survival.

Godspeed,
NAZORM

*Author's Note: this was an EXTREMELY fun brain project for me