Black Ember of the Soul

The first story of a series of sci-fi fantasy novel series.

Hello everyone.

I've had a long break from writing this story, but its been in the back of my mind for years. Essentially I want to develop on my writing style before publishing the full story. Much of the story is in the process of rewriting, and from now I'll be posting here for an indefinite time. All comments and sharing welcome.

Concept:
The story blends technology and spiritual based 'magic'. Though I say magic, its referred to as more of an energy than magic in the story.

The story also features created languages, dynamic cultures and all sorts of interesting technologies.

Description:
When he realised what had fell, he was too late. It had already cracked. He was already subject to the poison of black ember gas that seeped its way into his skin and body. His body fell like a brick. His skin turning blacker than the abyss of the oceans. His body was developing something. A growth. A cancer. The over production of something that was never even there in his body to begin with. A soul mutation.

Though Taitero knew about black ember from what he had learned from his parents, school, friends and aquitances, that was only knowledge. The result of coming into contact with the gas was a feeling. You cannot wake up, yet feel the pain. You feel the blackness screeching through your body, scratching your bones piercing itself through you, with the exit being your skin. You feel the gas mutate your insides.