Who I Am
- Reads 618
- Votes 2
- Parts 4
Ongoing5m
Last published Thu, Sep 28, 2017
"You know my name ,not my story"
As cliché as this may seem , it suits me perfectly.
What you see is an illusion that I've perfected over the years...if only you could see my heart and the pain that I've put it through....if only you could feel the pain my body has endured. .. if only you could've experienced the torture ,the self loathing, then finally forgiveness and accepting what I have been through...so that you too could understand why I am who I am ..and how I have become so strong....You have NO IDEA who I am...only the illusion that I choose to feed to you....I'm not perfect, I'm damaged goods; and I've learned to accept that...just like I've learned to love and value my life as well...
" You don't know me"
This is an autobiography on my life and I will not hold back on any details...you are forewarned . This will be a form of me venting because to date I haven't told anyone of all that I've experienced throughout my life. You may ask why I am doing so now...well I'm hoping by me speaking out I can encourage another that there can be a life after any type of pain.
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𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 ✓
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Someone New ✓
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboardComplete
"Talk to you about it?" I asked with a dark laugh. "it's not as easy as you make it sound," "Yes, Garret! Talking! You know what that is right? It's very easy! You just open your mouth and let the words that are in your head, come out of your mouth." "It's not that simple," I fought down emotions that were building up. "Yes, it is! See, i'm doing it right now!" "No-it's not!" "Yes!" "No!" "Yes! just talk, dang it!-" "You just expect it to be easy to talk about my dead parents?! About how guilty I feel for not visiting their grave for the past 11 years?! I didn't even realize how long it's been, I had pretty much forgotten about them for 11 years! Do you know what kind of guilt is eating at me right now!" I shouted in angst, my hands grabbing at the clothes on top of my head and pushing it into myself, wanting to just be shielded away from everything I was feeling, guilt, sadness, from thinking about more people I've lost in my life. Before I could even react, Keeley's tiny arms wrapped themselves around my torso. ~ Garret had a difficult life. His parent's died when he was 10, and he got moved around for 4 year's in foster care. He finally find's a home where he feels like he's family, He has a mom, dad and a brother. 4 years later things happen and everything start's to go wrong. People die and people you thought you knew show a whole different side. Garret finds himself distancing from everybody. Because if he's not close to anybody, they cant get hurt. Right? One day while at a fight he runs into Keeley, who is a spirited and confident little fireball. when they met it left an impression on Garret, soon he finds himself wanting to know her more. and soon, he find's himself falling for her. Everyone Garret's ever loved has died, has gotten hurt, or stabbed him in the back.will he be able to trust her enough to let her close,or push her away to keep them both from getting hurt? © 2013
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