Who I Am
- Reads 618
- Votes 2
- Parts 4
Ongoing5m
Last published Thu, Sep 28, 2017
"You know my name ,not my story"
As cliché as this may seem , it suits me perfectly.
What you see is an illusion that I've perfected over the years...if only you could see my heart and the pain that I've put it through....if only you could feel the pain my body has endured. .. if only you could've experienced the torture ,the self loathing, then finally forgiveness and accepting what I have been through...so that you too could understand why I am who I am ..and how I have become so strong....You have NO IDEA who I am...only the illusion that I choose to feed to you....I'm not perfect, I'm damaged goods; and I've learned to accept that...just like I've learned to love and value my life as well...
" You don't know me"
This is an autobiography on my life and I will not hold back on any details...you are forewarned . This will be a form of me venting because to date I haven't told anyone of all that I've experienced throughout my life. You may ask why I am doing so now...well I'm hoping by me speaking out I can encourage another that there can be a life after any type of pain.
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lifieee.talks
This isn't going to be a story. But just a safe place for all of us to share our problems 💘✨ As I begin posting you all will understand what this is going to be about 😌🐤 But I just wanted to say, anything that's been bothering you, drop it in my messages or in the comments (of any post) 💗😪 and I'll read them and make sure, I help you out as much as I can 🌷🌱 And then your problem will be created into a part of this series (Identities won't be revealed unless you want it to, ofcourse) 🐾🐥 I am just doing this because I know we all face tough times out there 🌊🐳 and I myself am no professional. But I always have loved talking. lol. So, why not put it to a good use and also I really don't give terrible solutions so, I figured this would be the best 💕 and also, guys I know a lot of us are afraid of being vulnerable but it is the most beautiful part of being human 🌈💨 A human has emotions, and they're intelligent enough to speak them ⏳👀 They're surrounded by people like their own and as dark as the world might be, humanity, love, empathy, compassion all of these positive things will never seize to exist 💜✨ So, as we go on adding stories to this series I hope it'll help you all out and it will heal us all in some way or the other 💘🕊 Thank you and right now, I won't be posting anything. So, if you have anything you'd like to share drop it in my inbox and I'll read it as soon as I'm free. - loads of love, xoxo - lifieee.
Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionComplete
It's Okay to Use Your Big Girl Voice
Inside you will find a mixture of both, extremely RAW and refreshingly HEALING accounts of my personal war with my past. Unfortunately, Childhood sexual abuse is far too common, and many of share similar experiences. Looking back, what I could have used more than anything was someone to tell me "You're not alone, there is a lightness through the darkness, you can heal from this and most importantly don't EVER stop telling your story to make others comfortable". I've learned that silence is the best weapon for a predator, and I for one, have never been really good at doing what I'm told. I don't intend on starting now. I wear my scar as reminder that I hold the power in my own story, it is mine to tell and I won't make myself sick keeping quiet because my truths are hard to swallow, other people's comfort is not my problem. My Goal is rather simple, to let the readers know, they too are not alone. If you are a survivor, even if you still feel like a victim, this is my personal message to you. "You are strong, and it wasn't your fault. Tell someone... tell anyone...tell everyone... We shift from victims to survivors when we speak up and tell our stories. There's nothing wrong with you, and the light will shine again. The longer you sit in silence the more power your abuser still holds over you, wipe your face warrior, because there's a lion right inside of you, DONT EVER GIVE UP!" *This story is FULL of TRIGGERS, please be careful reading if triggers are hard for you, your mental health matters* *I own all the Rights to all parts of this book*
You don't know me
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Not for the faint of heart, I explore dark parts of my mind and unfurl them for your own enjoyment. All of these stories are true. You don't know me, and you're never going to. This is basically just a shitty diary of my life with very few details as to who I am, Don't want to scare you off. Feel free to read but I don't really care. I'm just a screwed up guy that everyone knows and nobody cares about really. If you can't tell I'll probably swear quite a bit in this so if you don't like that I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good read anyway it's just me complaining about the fact I still exist. Actually no, whilst I did start this to complain about my life, the stories are fluctuating, as I discover I am infact worthy of love, even I don't believe it at all times. I hope you enjoy my rantings. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
Memoirs of A Healer/Clinical Social Worker: Autobiography of Bruce Whealton
A healer. A survivor. A victim of profound injustice. How does someone who has dedicated their life to helping others find the strength to heal themselves after losing everything? In December 2019, I woke up in a psychiatric hospital following a suicide attempt. A simple conversation with another patient sparked a shift within me-a glimmer of clarity that would change the course of my life. But how did I end up there? What devastation could drive a loving spouse, a therapist, and a lifelong survivor to the edge of despair? This book unravels the journey that led me to that breaking point and how I found the strength to keep living. My story is one of triumph and tragedy-of overcoming paralyzing shyness and social anxiety to become a psychotherapist, only to have my life shattered by unimaginable injustice. Between 2000 and 2006, I lost everything I had built: my home, my career, my community, and the love that once gave my life meaning. The destruction was sudden, like a meteor crashing down, and the aftermath left me in ruins. Worse still, the world condemned me as a villain when I was only ever a victim. But this is not just a story of loss. It is a story of survival, of how I faced the darkness and chose to keep living. It is a testament to how love, hope, and the power of connection can guide us through even the longest night. Through this memoir, I share not only my pain but also my triumphs-the moments of joy, love, and meaning that kept me fighting for life. I write this book for anyone who has ever felt unseen, unheard, or unjustly condemned. I write it to show that healing is possible, that our stories matter, and that no matter how broken we feel, there is always a path forward. This is my story. But it is also a story of hope-for you, for me, and for anyone who has ever longed for justice, healing, and love.Complete
Her Breaking Point
He had rules for a reason, or thats what he said. I did something wrong I got punished. I spoke out of turn, I got punished. I looked at him or ate without permission, I got punished. Haven thats what they named me funny isn't it? Ironic really. They named me Haven because my mom would say I was her 'Safe Haven'. What a pile of shit that was. She left willingly, she didn't depart because of some tragic accident. My father didn't kill her. She left because she was a coward who didn't want kids. As soon as my older brother went to college she left. I knew she hated me. I was the product of her love with another man. A constant reminder that her life didn't work out the way it was planned. He who ever he was is a phantom in its own. A deep rooted fantasy never going to come true. My brother left, my mother left, my grandma ignored, and my father broke. They let me give up hope on escaping and then decided to play hero. But I haven't forgotten everything I went through. Guilt consumes my brother but I don't care, you don't get to leave and then buy a reprieve of trying to save someone who has been dead for years. Besides lets just be honest I reached my breaking point long ago.Complete
Not me. (2023)
so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.Complete
Tumor Love
Sometimes life don't go the way we planned. Sometimes we end up feeling so low, and alone. Like we're in a dark hole with no one around us, but then suddenly there's a light at the end of the tunnel. And I guess what I'm trying to say is.. You're my light, the one who helped me through the worst time in my life - And for that, I am thankful. I'm thankful that I met you, but I also hate you. I hate what you did to me, because you made me fall in love.. And then my world fell apart once again. [WARNING!! Contains mature themes, and languageComplete
Someone New ✓
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboardComplete
Tethered By Lust
It's not worth it anymore. The fighting, the hurt, the beatings. It was never going to be worth it. But for love...well love makes you stupid. And I loved him with all my heart. I met the real man who would save me. Like how Bell was saved from Gaston. Except she lived the high life and didn't fear for her existence after her first encounter. After my first encounter with Axel, and a dreamy one-night stand. The only option for me was to stay away from him and keep to Marcus. But Marcus is destroying me. *** "Don't you dare tell me how easy it is to leave and abusive relationship when you've never been in one, Axel!" Tears poured down my cheeks and all I wanted to do in that moment was crawl into the same hole I should never have crawled out from and die. "And I was heartbroken, and scared and anxious. I was worried and I felt weak, and I had no idea how I was ever going to come up with the strength. But I just closed my eyes and took a blind leap. I found you, Cordilia and I'll be dammed if I let that asshole take you away from me."Complete
This isn't going to be a story. But just a safe place for all of us to share our problems 💘✨ As I begin posting you all will understand what this is going to be about 😌🐤 But I just wanted to say, anything that's been bothering you, drop it in my messages or in the comments (of any post) 💗😪 and I'll read them and make sure, I help you out as much as I can 🌷🌱 And then your problem will be created into a part of this series (Identities won't be revealed unless you want it to, ofcourse) 🐾🐥 I am just doing this because I know we all face tough times out there 🌊🐳 and I myself am no professional. But I always have loved talking. lol. So, why not put it to a good use and also I really don't give terrible solutions so, I figured this would be the best 💕 and also, guys I know a lot of us are afraid of being vulnerable but it is the most beautiful part of being human 🌈💨 A human has emotions, and they're intelligent enough to speak them ⏳👀 They're surrounded by people like their own and as dark as the world might be, humanity, love, empathy, compassion all of these positive things will never seize to exist 💜✨ So, as we go on adding stories to this series I hope it'll help you all out and it will heal us all in some way or the other 💘🕊 Thank you and right now, I won't be posting anything. So, if you have anything you'd like to share drop it in my inbox and I'll read it as soon as I'm free. - loads of love, xoxo - lifieee.
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