Knight in Shining Armor? More Like Mullet in Ugly Uniform with Hugeass Knife

"Lance wasn't really sure how it happened.

It was all Hunk's fault, really-he'd gotten them lost in the corn maze, after all. And then it had grown dark and they'd gotten out just from climbing the haystacks and sprinting down row after row, fueled by the corn dogs they'd eaten earlier and adrenaline. And then the fair was closing, but Lance really had to pee, so Hunk waited in the car while Lance waited in the Porta Potty line.

Lance had been grateful, at first, that the line had consisted of him and two others, but now he was fucking stuck in the Porta Potty, and no one was outside, and Hunk wasn't answering his phone."
...
AKA the "I got stuck in a Porta Potty and was rescued by a hot stranger" AU no one asked for