Rainy Day

Rainy Day

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WpMetadataNoticeUltima pubblicazione ven, feb 22, 2019
My phone buzzed, pulling me out of my book. I groaned. All I wanted was to finish the book, is that too much to ask? It buzzed again. "Fine," I grumbled, pulling my phone out of my pocket. Waiting for the message to open I looked up, seeing if the train was coming. I sighed, looking back down to read the message. "Do not board that train." The words glowed on the screen. Confused I read it again, then a third time. I felt a chill race down my back. I tried to rationalize. It's probably just mom, I thought to myself. Closing the message I went to see who sent it. Number unknown. My breath hitched. Who is this? My head started to hurt. A headache?! This early in the morning? It got worse I stood up from where I was sitting on the bench and started to walk through the crowd. A sharp pain raced around my skull, I took a deep breath, and turned around, to find that the seat I was just sitting in had been taken. As I stumbled around, trying to find somewhere to sit, I heard a voice. At first I thought it was someone around me, but no one was talking to me, at least directly. I think. I fell backwards with realization; someone was trying to communicate with me. Through my mind.
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"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

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