I use my "existentialism" to excuse my career, but the reality is, I haven't felt anything real in years. It's not my philosophy, it's my brain. Something is wrong with me. At this point my dreams seep into my waking life; I can no longer tell the two apart. I am losing my sense of self -- exponentially, i might add -- and it is making life quite interesting. A raging battle between flesh and spirit! Or rather, a murderous young woman with lust for blood.