19

It’s been a while since I’ve felt what love is, if I even knew what it was. I frowned to myself for a moment, remembering him. Remembering what high school love felt like.

It was a lot of butterflies at first, and I was always happy. I wanted every bit of him as much as I could. A phone call, a text message, a secret glance at him from across the room. It was like I woke up every morning because I wanted him to look at me, and make me feel like he liked me too. Then it would become mischievous, we would be reckless. Always laughing with eachother and sneaking around just to grab at eachother for a little bit. And it was all okay and we were happy. We would fight, and it would feel like the entire world was over.

But it never was. I could almost feel the longing for him that I used to feel then. You never knew if you guys would make it past those golden years of high school, and you were so shaken at the thought of it ever ending. Pretty soon you’d find yourself planning the rest of yours years together. Going to prom together in a matching dress and tie, Graduating together, going to college together, and living together forever.

Then your senior year comes along and your highschool sweetheart becomes exactly that. What started in high school seems to stay in high school. You’re suddenly more independent and worried about your own future, and what you’re going to do. You find yourself drifting from eachother and fighting more often, and it comes to you sooner then you think, then it's over.

Now I'm 19, a college freshman, and romantically challenged.