Lean In and Count To Ten

"Can I try something?" Luke asked before pushing a curl behind my ear. He looked at me shyly before pressing his bottom lip to my top lip. I sat there on our shared bed frozen, unaware of the surroundings. It felt like fireworks, yet it wasn't even a proper kiss. He looked at me for approval and I beamed at him. "Can I try something?" I said softly. He nodded eagerly as I leaned into him as kissed him gently. Both of us laying back onto our shared bed thinking of what had occurred in the past minutes. Amazed on what had happened but yet sadden. This would never be a real relationship. I am merely an experiment to Luke. Although he is to I... we have tried these things over the past few weeks. My feelings are starting to tug and pull wanting to come free in my mind. This isn't good what I put myself through but I'll do it. Bringing my hand on top of his, I think of the possibilities for the future. Luke interlocks our hands and kisses me on the cheek. Why isn't this real? "Ashton..." "Yes Luke?" I say looking into those memorizing eyes. "How long are we going to do this?" He says taking his hand away from mine. As he begins to sit up he rubs his eyes and sighs. "We don't have too." I say a little hurt. Am I not a good experiment? "I don't know. It was just a question." He replies getting up from the bed, signaling that we are leaving the experiment headspace and entering the real world. The one where we can't be together. Why did I ever agree to this? When will it ever end?