The Broken

These were written by me when I was struggling with severe depression, cutting, and suicidal tendencies.
The beginning poems are extremely cringey to me, most of them are in fact, but I dont have it in me to take these down. These were my copings, these shitty "poems." Any semblance of a good poem is found towards the end of the collection. I'm going to slowly post more and more on here when I feel that I need the escape.

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I sought out help on 10.31.14, and it was the best decision of my life; I would not be here if I didn't. That was after eight suicide attempts, with my ninth and final one during my recovery in the summer of 2016. I am now medicated and trying to live my life as normally as I can.

I was diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, ADHD, insomnia, and some form of mood disorder. I wanted to give up during my recovery so many times, but I have since learned to manage and to live with what I have. My serotonin levels are low, and I have learned to live with the fact that my brain cannot respond to serotonin, basically at all, we learned after testing. We also did testing for medication and it turns out that almost all medications that could help are not compatible with my genetic makeup, even ones I had been taking for a couple years and that I continue to take.
When I sought out help, I was turned into an outpatient having to stay under watch. I was then packed for in stay twice: the next day, and a few weeks later.
It's not peaches and candy, nothing is. It's a struggle and an ongoing one, for some people, like me, the struggle will never be over. Just because theres a struggle doesnt mean you shouldn't seek out help; a struggle with the help of others is a lot more tolerable than a struggle by yourself. Maybe things dont get better, but maybe they do. It's a bet to take that they will.