Losing Myself - MarissaEstelle - Wattpad

Losing Myself

Reads 3,741
Votes 88
Parts 28
Time 3h 8m

Reads 3,741
Votes 88
Parts 28
Time 3h 8m

Mature

boy college direction frat harry one styles

"I think when it’s all over it just comes back and flashes, you know? It’s like a kaleidescope of memories. It just all comes back. But he never does. I think part of me knew the second when I saw him this would happen. It’s not really anything he said, or anything he did. It was the feeling that came along with it. And the crazy thing is, I don’t know if I’m ever gonna feel that way again. But I don’t know if I should. I knew his world moved to fast and burned too bright. But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you towards someone who looks like an angel when they smile at you? Maybe he knew that when he saw me. I guess I just lost my balance. I think that the worst part of it all wasn’t losing him. It was losing me…"

***

They say when you meet the love of your life, you know. But I never did.

They say you’ll get butterflies and your palms will sweat and you’ll smile slightly as your eyes meet there’s, but that’s not what happened.

I hated him.

There was nothing I wanted more than to not want him.

Falling in love with some ass face frat boy quarterback at Princeton was not on my “to do” list when I received my acceptance letter.

He was scum. He’d drink his weight in vodka, fuck any female that batted their lashes at him, and picked on anyone he thought was beneath him. I hated him. Since the day I laid eyes on him I swore I hated him.

But I was also infatuated with him. And the way his green eyes went bloodshot when he was intoxicated. The way he’d watch how I walk and study my pattern of doing things. And the way his obnoxious laugh traveled down the halls of the frat house I’d spent so many regrettable nights at.

I didn’t know it was possible to hate someone and love them so much. I guess I really didn’t really know what I was capable of; until I met Harry.All Rights Reserved

boy college direction frat harry one styles

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28 parts

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You Can Call Me by ellyreiv

"You can call me when you're lonely. I'll be your temporary fix." Those were the words that he said to me and it was plain simple, he wanted nothing but sex and I wanted nothing more than too. I was the kind of girl who was too scared of falling in love again because I feel like there is something more in life than being mournful over a guy who never actually gave a hell. I deserve something more than pain and misery over a stupid heartbreak. Since then, I got too scared of commitment that I no longer wanted to be in one. I wanted fun and I wanted to feel like I am alive again. He was the kind of guy who was too busy for permanent relationships. The superstar that all women wanted to bang with. The kind of guy who would have any girls kneel down in front of him because well, he is that kind of guy. He was a guy with a hectic schedule, sold out world tours, drinking champagne in private jets, holding a mic in one hand and conquering all over the world on the other. Maybe I needed someone to show me how to live again and he needed someone to show him how to love. All Rights Reserved. 2015 Word count: 259,139

Arcane by sage_storys

Forced to move, Ember Evergreen has to say goodbye to her best friend. She never thought she would see him again and it broke her heart. 10 years later, winning a raffle in New York she finds herself in a peculiar situation. She had won concert tickets, quickly recognizing the name on them. Harry Styles. She'll be able to see him again, but there's no way he remembers her... right? "The air in my lungs seemed to be stolen as I saw Harry, he seemed so different yet the same. Of course I had always been caught up with him, and knew what he looked like throughout the years. But seeing him in person was so... surreal. Never in my life had I thought I would ever see him again. He had a huge grin plastered on his face, his dimples cutting into his cheeks. His bunny teeth seemed cute as ever, his tall build and bright energy taking over the stage without him even trying. Music started immediately and the ground shook along with the bass. What really surprised me was his voice, sure the audience was loud, but his voice silenced them into awe. "Open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see. That I'm still the only one that's been in love with me. I'm just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth." He started, his voice low yet powerful, a rasp that sounded so perfect. When we were younger we sang together a lot, I always thought he was good. I knew he had potential, I knew he was going somewhere in life. I'm so proud of him. Proud of who he's becoming. Of who he is. Of how happy he seems. I can only imagine how hard he worked for this. I look around the stadium, looking at the thousands of people in the crowd. Each with their own story, different traumas, different memories, different backgrounds. They all came here for him. To support him. Because they love him. Because they're proud of him."

Just Forget The World (A Harry Styles Fanfiction) by BlueSkyKisses

"If would you have asked me 4 years ago that any of this would have happened, i would have told you that your crazy. In 4 years time i have accomplished so much. My world had changed. You changed my world." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Everytime she heard his name she just though he was another stuck up celebrity. Just another famous person who couldn't care less. But honestly what else was she going to believe after he left. He told her where he was going but stopped caring about her after he was gone. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi my name is Lenah. I am a 18 year old first year university student. That isnt what you want to know though. What you want to know is that i know One Direction. Your asking how, i know you are. Well i went to school with one of the members. Harry Styles. See i have known harry since i was 15 years old, so only 3 years but still before the xfactor. Actually the day i met Harry for the first time was December 1st. Harry and I had stayed very close friends that time before the xfactor. We where so close. But the past 2 years when Harry has been gone. We have gone threw a lot. I lost a lot of people. So did he. We both realized that sometimes friendship can't last threw the distance, So i understood when Harry stopped talking to me. The thing is though when i got that letter i wasn't expecting it. Why after 2 years of nothingness would he just start to talk to me again? Well i guess youll have to read to find out! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Just Forget the World - A Harry Styles Fanfiction Written by Rayanna Sky AKA Blueskykisses <3

First Love // H.S. by heyimdutch

• WARNING: This story contains sexual content and vulgar language. • Your first love. Everyone has had them, still has them or will have them. Your first love is the first person you truly and deeply fall in love with. Your first love is the person you share your firsts with. Your first kiss that's a true act of love and not an impulse. Your first time with a person you actually love, and not just because you're horny. Having your first kiss given by your first love, is the best thing that can ever happen. Having your virginity taken away by your first love, is the most magical thing in this world. Your first real relationship being your first love, is something literally impossible never forget. You can never forget your first love. They will always stay with you. No matter how long you've been apart, or how bad the relationship ended. They will always pop up in your mind when you see something that reminds you of them. When someone asks you how old you were when you had your first real relationship. They will always stay by your side. That's the same thing with Olivia Tomlinson and Harry Styles in this story. The relationship starts, and it's all cute and fun. The honeymoon phase. The best phase in a relationship. When Olivia and Harry are together for a longer time, they start noticing things that are annoying to each other. They start to argue more. What if it turns into a toxic relationship? A toxic relationship and also an on and off relationship? What if they just can't leave each other alone? What if they realize it's impossible to get over each other, no matter how toxic the relationship was?

Wrecking Ball - Harry Styles by UnrealUnicorns

They went to the same school. She was just like any other normal teenage girl in high school. He on the other hand wasn't like any other teenage boy in high school. Him and his friends were the bad boys and everyone knew it. But one day at a party, everything changed. Harry and his friends made a bet. And she fell right into it. She never saw it coming. This is a story of... Love, Hate, Friendship. People will get hurt. But can they fix everything? Or will everything just be wreck? Including Herself.

Red Volkswagen || h.s. by hotgirlharry

Westlake, South Carolina. Home to Brooklyn Callahan, the best latte maker on the east coast. Or so her mom tells her. She's lived in the mundane town with two stop lights her whole life, never needing more than the beach, her record player, and three coffees a day to counteract her terrible sleep schedule. Nothing interesting has ever happened to her and nothing ever will...that is, until one of the most famous, brown haired, green eyed nineteen year olds in the world waltzes into her work near closing and orders a black coffee. The ten minute exchange doesn't go very far, but with the whole summer ahead of him, Harry is determined to learn more about the first person he's met in a long time that didn't know his name. Brooklyn has only known quiet, and Harry has only known commotion. What happens when they show each other the sides of life they've been missing, overcome trials, and experience heartbreak, all while learning what love is in the process? EXCERPT: "I'm Harry." He says, and I only furrow my brow deeper. "Brooklyn." I say, even though I told him last night. "And I'm confused." "About what?" "You." "Already? We barely know each other yet." "Yet?" "I said I had the summer off." "...Congrats?" He laughs. "If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to make the most of it in your little town you call Westlake." Now I laugh. Hard. Almost a little too hard. And now I'm embarrassed. "Sorry, I just have no idea why you would subject yourself to that." I sigh. "I'd like a little bit of nothing." He says, repeating my words from last night. "I mean I guess there's nothing wrong with that...but why are you telling me this?" His gaze averts from me to the window for a few seconds before he looks back at me and shrugs his shoulders. "Don't know. But I like you, Brooklyn, so maybe you can show me around." - every chapter is based off of a taylor swift song, but you don't have to be a fan of hers to read! <3 STARTED JANUARY 2022 COMPLETED AUGUST 2022

Camp One Direction (A Harry Styles Fanfiction) by 1d_feelthepayne

Looking back, I don’t know why I fell for him. Maybe it was his green eyes, his beautiful personality, or just the fact that I just needed an escape from reality. All I know was that I fell fast. Very fast. And little did I know how much my life would drastically change that summer. I was just looking for happiness, and I found it in him. *NOT FOR YOUNGER READERS SOME MATURE CONTENT*

Yes, Daddy // h.s by TheDarkestOnes

please don't comment crap on this story, I made it when I was very young and clueless. I understand it sucks and it's gross. // "You're nobody important, just a little girl to fill my sexual needs" Harry's sickening voice is adamant. Tears prick my eyes, but I've got to stay strong. There is no way he will see me cry. "So that's all I ever was to you? After everything we'd been through?" I take a deep breath and shut my eyes, wanting to erase all of our memories together. "Don't think of it as a one time thing." He says, grabbing his coat off of the couch, as well as throwing on his shoes. "What do you want me to think of it as then!?" I yell, a tear or two slipping down my pale cheeks. All this time we'd spent had to have meant something to him, it had too have. "Think of it like this Arabella, in my mind no strings were attached in our 'relationship', everything was more so.." He trails off opening the door ready to leave. "Well more so like first person who falls in love is the first person to be..." And with that I'm left to a shut door and a broken heart. ___ Copyright © 2014 TheDarkestOnes |All Rights Reserved| Highest Rank: #1 in yes daddy #19 in fanfiction #5 in sir #4 in after warning: self harm/rape content, read at your own risk.

Psychopath. [Completed] by harrystattooos

[Completed] "That was the first night I had the dream. I was standing in a wilderness. Everything was black. Yet, there was a light ahead. It was dim but it looked promising. I hesitated whether actually walking towards the light, after all it could be a trap. That's when Harry appeared with a hand out towards me. "You want to know my secret?" his eyes were loving, something I hadn't seen before. "Follow me and you'll find out." I took his hand and we headed toward the light. But that's where it ended. It had me thinking though, was there a light at the end of all of this darkness?" - honestly, i wrote this when i was like a freshman in high school so it's really cringey 😬 no judgement, please.

Intent [Wattys 2017] by ccalianese

How can I, Emma Parker, possibly fall into the arms of my best friend, Harry Styles, if I can't even tell him the most crucial and defining parts of my past? Lina, my other best friend seems to think that he and I are meant to be together. Could she be right? I just want an escape, from the nightmares, from the memories, from the fear and if anyone can help me it would be him. But I'm scared. I know it's all Harry wants, to be there for me and I know he's the key to my serenity if only I can muster up the courage to let him in. ***** |"Emma?" Someone said tapping me on the shoulder and derailing my train of thought. Weird, how did he know my name, I hadn't even talked to anyone yet, I barely spoke to the women giving out the welcome portfolios. Who on Gods green planet could know me here? It couldn't be Lina, she was most definitely still flirting with the boy at the desk and at any rate it was a man standing behind me. Turning around and taking my first look at him there was something familiar about him. It was the boy Lina had hand picked for me to date just a few moments before. Maybe it was meant to be I internally laughed at myself, fat chance. But there was something else about the tall boy with soft brown curls shaping his face, defined cheekbones, and piercing green eyes staring down at me. He had to be more than a random boy from across the room but what was it? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Those eyes had haunted me for years. Green globes that I hadn't seen in what, nine years? It couldn't be could it? Was it really him. "Harry?" | *** (This is my first time doing this so bear with me. Thanks! All the love, C) Harry Styles AU // This story has nothing to do with Harry Styles. His physical traits are used but nothing more. // This is fiction. Thoughts and feelings of characters don't represent mine or others. Please remember that. // Includes mature scenes without warning. // All Rights Reserved ©ccalianese 2016

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Slide 1 of 10

You Can Call Me cover

Just Forget The World (A Harry Styles Fanfiction) cover

First Love // H.S. cover

Wrecking Ball - Harry Styles cover

Red Volkswagen || h.s. cover

Camp One Direction (A Harry Styles Fanfiction) cover

Yes, Daddy // h.s cover

Psychopath. [Completed] cover

Intent [Wattys 2017] cover

You Can Call Me

"You can call me when you're lonely. I'll be your temporary fix." Those were the words that he said to me and it was plain simple, he wanted nothing but sex and I wanted nothing more than too. I was the kind of girl who was too scared of falling in love again because I feel like there is something more in life than being mournful over a guy who never actually gave a hell. I deserve something more than pain and misery over a stupid heartbreak. Since then, I got too scared of commitment that I no longer wanted to be in one. I wanted fun and I wanted to feel like I am alive again. He was the kind of guy who was too busy for permanent relationships. The superstar that all women wanted to bang with. The kind of guy who would have any girls kneel down in front of him because well, he is that kind of guy. He was a guy with a hectic schedule, sold out world tours, drinking champagne in private jets, holding a mic in one hand and conquering all over the world on the other. Maybe I needed someone to show me how to live again and he needed someone to show him how to love. All Rights Reserved. 2015 Word count: 259,139