Losing Myself - MarissaEstelle - Wattpad

Story cover for Losing Myself by MarissaEstelle

Losing Myself

LẦN ĐỌC 3,781
Lượt bình chọn 88
Chương 28
Thời gian 3h 8m

LẦN ĐỌC 3,781
Lượt bình chọn 88
Chương 28
Thời gian 3h 8m

Trưởng thành

boy college direction frat harry one styles

"I think when it’s all over it just comes back and flashes, you know? It’s like a kaleidescope of memories. It just all comes back. But he never does. I think part of me knew the second when I saw him this would happen. It’s not really anything he said, or anything he did. It was the feeling that came along with it. And the crazy thing is, I don’t know if I’m ever gonna feel that way again. But I don’t know if I should. I knew his world moved to fast and burned too bright. But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you towards someone who looks like an angel when they smile at you? Maybe he knew that when he saw me. I guess I just lost my balance. I think that the worst part of it all wasn’t losing him. It was losing me…"

***

They say when you meet the love of your life, you know. But I never did.

They say you’ll get butterflies and your palms will sweat and you’ll smile slightly as your eyes meet there’s, but that’s not what happened.

I hated him.

There was nothing I wanted more than to not want him.

Falling in love with some ass face frat boy quarterback at Princeton was not on my “to do” list when I received my acceptance letter.

He was scum. He’d drink his weight in vodka, fuck any female that batted their lashes at him, and picked on anyone he thought was beneath him. I hated him. Since the day I laid eyes on him I swore I hated him.

But I was also infatuated with him. And the way his green eyes went bloodshot when he was intoxicated. The way he’d watch how I walk and study my pattern of doing things. And the way his obnoxious laugh traveled down the halls of the frat house I’d spent so many regrettable nights at.

I didn’t know it was possible to hate someone and love them so much. I guess I really didn’t really know what I was capable of; until I met Harry.Bảo Lưu Mọi Quyền

boy college direction frat harry one styles

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Arcane bởi sage_storys

Forced to move, Ember Evergreen has to say goodbye to her best friend. She never thought she would see him again and it broke her heart. 10 years later, winning a raffle in New York she finds herself in a peculiar situation. She had won concert tickets, quickly recognizing the name on them. Harry Styles. She'll be able to see him again, but there's no way he remembers her... right? "The air in my lungs seemed to be stolen as I saw Harry, he seemed so different yet the same. Of course I had always been caught up with him, and knew what he looked like throughout the years. But seeing him in person was so... surreal. Never in my life had I thought I would ever see him again. He had a huge grin plastered on his face, his dimples cutting into his cheeks. His bunny teeth seemed cute as ever, his tall build and bright energy taking over the stage without him even trying. Music started immediately and the ground shook along with the bass. What really surprised me was his voice, sure the audience was loud, but his voice silenced them into awe. "Open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see. That I'm still the only one that's been in love with me. I'm just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth." He started, his voice low yet powerful, a rasp that sounded so perfect. When we were younger we sang together a lot, I always thought he was good. I knew he had potential, I knew he was going somewhere in life. I'm so proud of him. Proud of who he's becoming. Of who he is. Of how happy he seems. I can only imagine how hard he worked for this. I look around the stadium, looking at the thousands of people in the crowd. Each with their own story, different traumas, different memories, different backgrounds. They all came here for him. To support him. Because they love him. Because they're proud of him."

Nothing More Than Best Friends (A Harry Styles FanFic) bởi Spreading_My_Wings

PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM PERIODICALLY EDITING ALL THESE CHAPTERS, SO THEY MIGHT BE AWFUL BECAUSE I WAS YOUNG AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT GRAMMAR WAS A YEAR AGO.... We used to have this game. I would sit in the audience and he would have to try and find me before the end of the show. If he did he would have to do something really weird we agreed upon while on stage. But as One Direction became more famous, tickets became more expensive and I wasn’t going to rely on Harry paying for every live show I attended. So I would visit a couple of times, I met the boys a few times and they were really lovely, but it wasn’t enough to keep the relationship Harry and I had as strong as it was. I get an occasional “Hey” text every month or so, but I haven’t seen him in about 2 years. Living right next to the Style/Cox household, I see Anne and Gemma all the time, but the few times that Harry came home, I was either on vacation or in college in the states. Harry was my best friend, but it seems like every day, the hope that we will go back to the old days comes slighter. But, little did Harry know, I was coming back into his life, well I didn’t technically know either. With my long blonde hair that reached the small of my back, dip dyed pink and purple at the ends instead of my short hair that stopped just after my shoulder blades. With my thin legs and flat stomach instead of my chubby cheeks. And the fact that I was no longer the little girl that every guy wanted as their best friend, but the girl that every guy drooled over. Harry was bound to not recognize me when I sat in the third row of his next concert in London … did I mention that every concert he would win the game?

Everything About You (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction) bởi UntamedHeart_

“It was all a mistake. Just forget it ever happened. Leave me alone and don’t bother talking to me ever again.”85 letters. 21 words. 3 sentences… echoed in my mind all the time. Just 21 simple words had changed everything for me. It’s a little sad, isn’t it? I don’t need anyone feeling sorry for me though. I hated how the voice who’d forced those words out made me completely melt. I’d do anything just to hear the deepness and rasp of the voice one last time. The same voice that had killed all my happiness had also made me the happiest person alive. It’s so weird how a person can change so quickly without any regret. Who is this person you might say? I’m sure everyone in the world knows him…but I knew him before all of the fame. I knew the real him…but who is the “real” him anymore? Does he even remember the poor girl he broke 4 years ago? Probably not. I really believed the fame wouldn’t mess with his true self. I guess I was wrong for thinking he was different. I know all of you think he’s so sweet and innocent. How could he ever do anything wrong? I don’t blame you, but you have to remember that looks can be deceiving. I can’t give in, no matter how cute he is. No matter how much history we have…or had. Even though the guy I still love but hate is…Harry Styles.

Two Ghosts [h.s] bởi tpwksammyyy

"Harry." I glare. "Violet." He smirks. - He had those tempting green eyes patched with a smirk and she wore a glare with the sweetest heart. She was his smartass. His darling sunshine. They were both hiding secrets. They both wanted to disappear. When their paths cross one day, they do everything in their power to stay away from each other but somehow they physically couldn't. They craved each other. They needed each other on a deeper level that could be conceived. - "Come on, I'll drive you." He says while picking up his keys. "You don't have to-" "Beep, beep, trains leaving!" He grabs my hand, pulling me with him as my jaw drops. "That was childish." He smirks, "I'm your damn fucking taxi, baby." Staring back at me with a painted smirk, looking me up and down I shove his hips back. "No flirting, be cool." "I physically can't stop." - Harry tries to keep Violet away from the mafia but when she figures it out, Harry will do everything he can to protect her. A new mission sets the boys up to travel to their casinos while robbing competitors. With an enemy hot on their tail, they have to play their cards right or face the consequences. - Highest Rankings #1 in living #4 in gangs #1 in punk #12 in soft Harry #6 in daddy issues MATURE CONTENT

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 × niall horan bởi NiallWhoransLeftShoe

𝐄𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 (𝐚𝐝𝐣.) ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 ──── ୨୧ ──── ⠀ ⠀ Now, sitting here beside Niall, I realize he doesn't know that. He doesn't know that I carry that song like a bruise. He doesn't know why I felt the need to change the subject so bad on Friday night when he played that song by the fire. He just knows me as the girl who laughs when he tickles her and spins on gym mats. ⠀ ⠀ And maybe that's... okay. I'm much more okay with him seeing me as that kind of person, because to him I'm not broken or bruised. I'm just normal. I've never been normal before. ⠀ ⠀ Because for the first time in a long time, the memory of Micah doesn't hurt as much. It's still there - it always will be - but it feels softer around the edges. ⠀ ⠀ Niall shifts beside me, his voice breaking through the haze. "You ever get that feeling like... you're right where you're supposed to be?" ⠀ ⠀ I look over at him, his face flushed, eyes tired but bright. ⠀⠀ "Sometimes," I whisper. ⠀ ⠀ He smiles faintly. "Yeah. Me too." ⠀ ⠀ We lie there a little longer, not saying much. The lights flicker slightly overhead. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀I believe, that everything happens for a reason. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀I am meant to be here. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ For some reason.

Why I Hate Harry Styles // Harry Styles bởi bow2702

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Psychopath. [Completed] bởi harrystattooos

[Completed] "That was the first night I had the dream. I was standing in a wilderness. Everything was black. Yet, there was a light ahead. It was dim but it looked promising. I hesitated whether actually walking towards the light, after all it could be a trap. That's when Harry appeared with a hand out towards me. "You want to know my secret?" his eyes were loving, something I hadn't seen before. "Follow me and you'll find out." I took his hand and we headed toward the light. But that's where it ended. It had me thinking though, was there a light at the end of all of this darkness?" - honestly, i wrote this when i was like a freshman in high school so it's really cringey 😬 no judgement, please.

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"I know exactly what you like." I swallowed, my throat dry despite the whiskey. "And what does that have to do with your secret?" His lips curved, the faintest hint of a smirk. "Because I think you want someone who can push back." The heat in my stomach curled tighter, and I hated that too. Hated that he was reading me too easily, hated that I couldn't tell if he was just playing or if he really understood. "That's not much of a secret," I said smoothly, keeping my voice even. "Anyone could guess that." "Maybe," Harry mused, his fingers toying with the rim of his glass. "But I don't think just anyone could keep up with you." I narrowed my eyes, my body betraying me with the way it leaned just slightly closer. "And you think you can?" He didn't answer right away. He just held my gaze, letting the anticipation stretch, letting the weight of it settle between us. Then, finally, his smirk deepened. "I guess that depends," he murmured, his voice dropping to something dark. "Are you gonna let me find out?" // August Paisley was born into bloodshed. As the daughter of Brooklyn's most ruthless mafia leader, she's spent her life sharpening her edges, knowing that love is a liability and trust is a death sentence. With enemies circling and war on the horizon, she has no time for distractions-especially not the kind that comes in the form of sharp-tongued, brooding, Harry Styles. Harry is everything she should hate. The son of her family's greatest enemy. A man raised on the promise of destruction. Their worlds are built on blood feuds and old grudges, and there's no future where the two of them walk away unscathed. But when their paths collide, what starts as a battle of wit and fire turns into something else-something intoxicating, something inevitable. Falling for him is a mistake that cost her everything. Her life. But in a war where nothing is certain, letting him go might be the most dangerous thing of all.

Hollow (Harry Styles) #Wattys2016 bởi Krystal_Grace

I cupped her face in my hands, rubbing my thumbs in circles over her cheeks. She was having trouble finding words to describe what she felt, and I could relate. I loved her more than words could describe and telling her I loved her was almost an insult to my true feelings for her. My heart ached at just the thought of her not being with me. I honestly don't know what I would have done with myself if I had never went to that stupid party and met her. But, I have a feeling, we would have found each other, eventually. This love's too strong to ignore forever. Both of us had pieces of us missing, that neither of us were aware of until we met. We were like two puzzle pieces that finally connected. "I love you," I whispered, leaning my forehead against hers. "I love you more," she replied in a small whisper, her hand reaching up to caress my cheek while the other rested on my thigh. I shook my head, annoyed and charmed by the audacity she had to think that she could possibly love me more. "I love you most," I persisted, causing her head to moved away from mine as she looked into my eyes. "Always?" She questioned, her eyes unreadable for a moment before a flash of fear passed through. "Forever," I assured her and meaning it. We could live an entire lifetime or for eternity, and my love for her would never fade. It would only grow. There was nothing in this world that would ever change the way I loved her. My, Katarina.

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Slide 1 of 9

Nothing More Than Best Friends (A Harry Styles FanFic) cover

Everything About You (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction) cover

Two Ghosts [h.s] cover

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 × niall horan cover

Why I Hate Harry Styles // Harry Styles cover

Psychopath. [Completed] cover

Beneath Your Skin [H.S] cover

Hollow (Harry Styles) #Wattys2016 cover

Arcane

Forced to move, Ember Evergreen has to say goodbye to her best friend. She never thought she would see him again and it broke her heart. 10 years later, winning a raffle in New York she finds herself in a peculiar situation. She had won concert tickets, quickly recognizing the name on them. Harry Styles. She'll be able to see him again, but there's no way he remembers her... right? "The air in my lungs seemed to be stolen as I saw Harry, he seemed so different yet the same. Of course I had always been caught up with him, and knew what he looked like throughout the years. But seeing him in person was so... surreal. Never in my life had I thought I would ever see him again. He had a huge grin plastered on his face, his dimples cutting into his cheeks. His bunny teeth seemed cute as ever, his tall build and bright energy taking over the stage without him even trying. Music started immediately and the ground shook along with the bass. What really surprised me was his voice, sure the audience was loud, but his voice silenced them into awe. "Open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see. That I'm still the only one that's been in love with me. I'm just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth." He started, his voice low yet powerful, a rasp that sounded so perfect. When we were younger we sang together a lot, I always thought he was good. I knew he had potential, I knew he was going somewhere in life. I'm so proud of him. Proud of who he's becoming. Of who he is. Of how happy he seems. I can only imagine how hard he worked for this. I look around the stadium, looking at the thousands of people in the crowd. Each with their own story, different traumas, different memories, different backgrounds. They all came here for him. To support him. Because they love him. Because they're proud of him."

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