suicidal
adjective
deeply unhappy or depressed and likely to commit or attempt suicide.
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depression
(1) : a state of feeling sad : dejection anger, anxiety, and depression (2) : a mood disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies
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"Face it, Anaiis! I'm a fucking emotional wreck and psychopath! I-I can't love you! I don't know how to love you!" Tears streamed down his face that held pain and sadness. It made me cry, seeing the sadness, anger, pain, and weariness in his broken brown eyes.
"Chris," I got on my knees to be face to face with him as he was seated on the bed. I placed my hand on his cheek, wiping his tears. "You are not--an emotional wreck or psychopath. You're better than that, so stop saying that. I understand that you've been through so much, so young. It's okay to not know how to love somebody, but I know something's there between us. I love you, and I-I can teach you how to love.... If you'd let me." I said my last words filled with hope.
He looked up and stared into my eyes with tired eyes. "If we love, I'm worried that one day, you won't love me anymore. That's the story of my life. I can't let you be the ending to my story, because in the end, you'll be the one that's broken, and I'll be gone."
"Do I really deserve to be happy?" After everything that Chris has been through, he can't help but wonder if he deserves anything else but the pain and sadness he regularly endures. He has learned to accept what his life has come to, and to relish in the little happiness he is allowed. But can a newcomer show him that life can always change, that people can always heal, or will Chris be swallowed and drowned in his pit of despair.
WARNING: BoyxBoy, minor triggering moments, please enjoy