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Última publicación mié, nov 19, 2025
I started this book with the intention to document my life in a series of poems and journal entries in hopes of giving my experiences some kind of new meaning. Either to myself or to whoever would read, but as time went on I found myself with less and less motivation to keep it going. Such is life. So now I'm changing it up. I'm turning this to a more blog writing style with each chapter being about a different part/topic of my life. Some of it might be funny, some might make you boil with rage like I had, but all of it will be a piece of my history and I hope you all enjoy. I'm keeping up the original chapters as well as sort of a remembrance to what feels like a past life.
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Evolution
There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.Concluida
Life experiences
I've been through my own struggle, whether it was created in my head by way of prolonged sadness or bitterness/resentment, or if I was struggling with things I had no control over like failed friendships, a broken heart, or family drama. This is my advice to you based off of my life experiences. Along with pieces of life experience advice I've included poetry and spoken word pieces from different perspectives and I try to break down life into beautiful words that people can relate to and see that we all struggle- you're not alone and we are each so valuable.Concluida
It's Okay to Use Your Big Girl Voice
Inside you will find a mixture of both, extremely RAW and refreshingly HEALING accounts of my personal war with my past. Unfortunately, Childhood sexual abuse is far too common, and many of share similar experiences. Looking back, what I could have used more than anything was someone to tell me "You're not alone, there is a lightness through the darkness, you can heal from this and most importantly don't EVER stop telling your story to make others comfortable". I've learned that silence is the best weapon for a predator, and I for one, have never been really good at doing what I'm told. I don't intend on starting now. I wear my scar as reminder that I hold the power in my own story, it is mine to tell and I won't make myself sick keeping quiet because my truths are hard to swallow, other people's comfort is not my problem. My Goal is rather simple, to let the readers know, they too are not alone. If you are a survivor, even if you still feel like a victim, this is my personal message to you. "You are strong, and it wasn't your fault. Tell someone... tell anyone...tell everyone... We shift from victims to survivors when we speak up and tell our stories. There's nothing wrong with you, and the light will shine again. The longer you sit in silence the more power your abuser still holds over you, wipe your face warrior, because there's a lion right inside of you, DONT EVER GIVE UP!" *This story is FULL of TRIGGERS, please be careful reading if triggers are hard for you, your mental health matters* *I own all the Rights to all parts of this book*
Someone New ✓
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboardConcluida
And at the end of the day we sleep || (AATEOTDWS) || 8th grade
This is an exaggerated diary of my day to day life. (Probably not gonna be regularly updated be of my schedule) I suck at writing so I apologize for my grammar here. 🥇#Realtalk 9/28/24 🥈#Realevents 9/29/24 🥇#Younglife 10/29/24Concluida
Notes to self
Essays of traumas which will either help me grow or continue to be my downfall guess I'll never know(I keep the typos in cause I'm not perfect and neither is my story) is Wrote the beginning chapters when I was 16 Mabey 17 I'm 18 now about to be 19
You don't know me
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Not for the faint of heart, I explore dark parts of my mind and unfurl them for your own enjoyment. All of these stories are true. You don't know me, and you're never going to. This is basically just a shitty diary of my life with very few details as to who I am, Don't want to scare you off. Feel free to read but I don't really care. I'm just a screwed up guy that everyone knows and nobody cares about really. If you can't tell I'll probably swear quite a bit in this so if you don't like that I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good read anyway it's just me complaining about the fact I still exist. Actually no, whilst I did start this to complain about my life, the stories are fluctuating, as I discover I am infact worthy of love, even I don't believe it at all times. I hope you enjoy my rantings. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
Logan
*TW* Contains topics and scenes of sexual assault, self-harm, abuse.* "You know you loved every second of it," I can feel the tears welling up as well as the anger building up within me. I stare at him for a while before I have to turn away from his hungry gaze. "Look I just came here to tell you that I forgive you for what you did back in Cali and I'll take you back," "You forgive me?" I yell. "I did nothing to you. You raped me! You fucking raped me! You have no right to come here and tell me that. You. Forgive. Me. You traumatized me. What you did to me tore me up inside and was eating away at me until I tried to kill myself. And when I told people they didn't believe me. I had to listen to so many people talk about how great a guy you were and how I clearly just regretted sleeping with you. You are a monster. You made me hate myself for something that was never my fault. You have caused me so much pain and suffering," I pause to take a deep breath. "So you don't get to come here to my school and tell me you forgive me. You don't get to make me feel bad about coming forward. The only thing I regret is ever thinking you were a good person." _____________________________________________ Logan Young is a 16-year-old girl about to start her senior year in a brand new town. The past year has been tough and her family moved to give her a fresh start. Her life before the move had been hard and she had been spiraling. She quickly makes new friends and even enemies. She builds up walls to protect herself. But what happens when an unlikely person helps her to tear down her walls and heal. Will she be able to survive in this new place and keep her secrets intact?Concluida
Family Comes First
Being alone? Check. Being afraid? Check. Being abused? Check times 3. Honestly, my life wasn't this bad before, not until I ended in foster care... SIKE! My life was always bad. From the moment I was born, I lived with an abusive father who blamed me for my mother's death, and even I couldn't disagree with him. Here are a few questions I am constantly asked: 'Do I do well in school?' No, are you kidding me? The only subject I'm good at is Visual Arts. 'Do I have a kind and caring family?' No, I don't think I do. 'Do I have anyone who cares about me?' No, I'm a loner and socially awkward. 'Do I have privileges?' No, if you haven't understood the message yet, I live in an abusive household. Now, you might ask if there are any questions the answer is yes. I'll give you some. 'Do I want to die?' Yes, I sometimes do. 'Do I feel alone in this world?' Yes, always. 'Do I get a beating every day?' Yes. *** This is Amara Williams, a 13 year-old with average grades and no friends. What happens when her only guardian, her dad, is dead? What happens when she finds out that she has five older brothers who are not only strict and demanding, but also protective assholes? More importantly, what happens when she finds out that she was taught lies from the moment she was born? Follow Amara as she digs deeper into her family history, uncovering the secrets and discovering the lies. ___ ⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️ There will be mentions of abuse, r@pe, self harm, death, and many other dark themes. I have given a warning now, and I will give a TW in each chapter when reading for safety reasons. However, I want all of my readers to know what to expect so that they can decided for themselves if they want to read. Read at your own discretion! ____ Highest Rankings: #1 in Rules: Oct. 18. 2020 #1 in Truth: Jan. 16. 2021 #1 in Alcohol: Jun. 18. 2021Concluida
Running Screaming
For 25 year old Amara Danvers, her life had gone to hell. She was stuck in an abusive relationship with a man who she loved but no longer wanted to be with. Trapped in a state far away from her family, no one to rely on. Her boyfriend's family shunned and ostracized her, looked the other way as she was repeatedly abused... Can life go on like this? What happens when everything... Even the tables change in a single night? "I don't want to live like this anymore!" "Then don't live. No one will ever love you." "Please! Stop hurting me! What did I do to deserve this?" "Ask yourself that... No one wants you. You deserve this. You'll never find anyone better." When the wheels stop spinning and everything goes dark.... "GET RID OF IT!" "STOP YOU'RE HURTING ME!" Will she have the strength to survive? To walk away? This is NOT a work of fiction. This is Real. This happened. This happened specifically to me. I am just telling my story. Names have been changed. Warning ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ This story depicts: Abuse Depression Trauma Recovery Unplanned Pregnancy Self Harm PTSD Mature themes Domestic Violence Please, if any of this is triggering, this is not for you. This is going to be very deep, depicting heavy trauma and I would rather you not read it if it is counterproductive to your mental health! If you are going through ANY of this, please contact your local domestic abuse hotline OR pm me and I will try to find you help.Concluida
20 tracks for a beautiful mind
self help book for everyone out there..... 1)cultivating positive thoughts Your thoughts have a huge impacts on your well being. If you want to be in happy mood then you have to see everything from a positive perspective ,in order to find the true happiness in whatever you do. There are so many self care help tips to evolve your Personality,in life you will face a lot of tough situation, tangled ways of life and many more but your good mind set or mentality could be very useful for you to adapt a new skills and personality development. If you allow your mind to stay out from negativity ,or to put all of your energy in doing something better then, That will add some colour to your life.worrying will only maximise the mess of your mind .And truely i have felt that the patience is one of the most important quality in every human being. you can't be happy if you can't bear it with patience when something unusual happens to you. There are many ways through which we can actually developed a positve mind set, do you want to change for better? Let's open these chapters to add some positive vibes in your mood and to uplift , *be your own sunshine. *analyse people around you . *believe in the beauty of having patience . *have clear visions . *be bold enough to raise your voice. and wise enough to shut it too(act according to situation) . *who you are you know this, don't waste your energy in proving yourself. Rather invest your time in evolving your career or dreams. *your passion will always triggers your Actions . *choose wisely whom with you Wanna share your time . *don't be dependent on another person for your Happiness . *your happiness is a your responsibility. *Be kind to others will make you a good human . *your life is already very good be thankful . *take charge of yourself . *be accountable . *be responsible for your own decisions . *don't blame . *be wise .Concluida
The Days With No Sun
Sometimes we fear truth over reality. But things get dark and heavy and we play the blame game. We end up hurting others or ourselves even. We don't think before we act or we don't say before we do. This is the evolution of my madness. A cluster of rants and thoughts and poems for you guys. Everything is written how I wanted it to be rants will be long with few pauses and there will be mistakes I might have skipped over. Aha. Poems at the beginning from when I was 15 years old to now when Im 18. Truly a visual of my writing evolution. Edited by @ChemicalStarling who writes a lot but never posts! Read on, loves. I'll see you on the other side...Concluida
Broken mind (Under heavy editing!)
I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had too many scars and thought. I already had a broken mind. When I tried to kill myself and failed at it, they brought me to a mental facility. There I meet other teens with different stories and each with their problems. The longer I'm here, the more stories I get the knowledge. We come together to tell our stories so that we can move on from what hurt us in the past and what waits for us in the future. We're all strangers, but we're all living in this messed-up place call life. So can we overcome our broken minds. -2014-Concluida
Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionConcluida
Noah (Obsessions in Overdrive #1)
I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life. I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this... *** #1 physical #1 cuteguys #1 addiction #2 self-esteem *** Started: 7 November 2022 Finished: 18 April 2024Concluida
My Self-Improvement Journey
This will be a collection of articles on life lessons I learned during my self-improvement and healing journey. ** Disclaimer: while I doubt anyone will notice, these stories were taken from my blog on Medium. I use a pen-name here and my real name on Medium. I'm hoping this will clarify any potential copyright issues.![[p o e t r y]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/148536872-256-k912257.jpg)
[p o e t r y]
***PSA- PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ MY MOST RECENT ADDITIONS TO THIS POETRY SAGA. I've been writing in this poetry journal since 2016 and they do get progressively better and more insightful.*** thank you carry on: These poems contain snippets of my life and my strongest emotions. Here I have opened my soul up to be read... Lastly, this volume is full; however, if you wish to read more, my 2nd poetry volume is ongoing and accessibleConcluida
Growing Up Gay
This is basically my journal, so listen to all the bullshit I've been though and how I've dealt with it. From bad parents to homophobes at school. I've gone through a lot so come and see my journey through high school. ⚠️Trigger warning ⚠️ language, depression, abuse, mentions of slurs and sexual assault. slow up dates![The Trouble with Trust [COMPLETED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/240554796-256-k368525.jpg)
The Trouble with Trust [COMPLETED]
I'm about to tell you a story about a girl. A normal girl. A girl that had no cares in the world, until her trust for it was stripped away. When you read her story, you'll find yourself trusting her, loving her, rooting for her. But you see, not everyone gets to trust the world. Not everyone has a happy ending. --- Halfway through the kiss however, his attitude changed; instead of being a loving embrace, it became a fierce trap. His grip on her waist tightened, trapped her where she was instead of simply holding her where he wanted her. The hand in her hair grabbed a section of it, enforcing his demand for her not to go anywhere. Before she knew what was happening, he left go of her hair, and pushed her to the ground. She gasped, suddenly able to breathe. He stood up and walked over to her. He placed a soft hand on her cheek, just like he used to when he was telling her how special she was to him. None of the emotion was there this time however, all she could feel radiating from his was rage. "You shouldn't have run off, babe," he said bitterly. "I was about to show you how much I loved you. Instead, I now have to show you what happens when you anger me." --- The men regarded her, before she was shoved to the ground and one produced a whip. There, laying broken on the floor, as the other girls watched, she was whipped. Slowly, she felt her skin breaking in time with her heart and her will.Concluida
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