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Ongoing22m
Last published Wed, Nov 19, 2025
I started this book with the intention to document my life in a series of poems and journal entries in hopes of giving my experiences some kind of new meaning. Either to myself or to whoever would read, but as time went on I found myself with less and less motivation to keep it going. Such is life. So now I'm changing it up. I'm turning this to a more blog writing style with each chapter being about a different part/topic of my life. Some of it might be funny, some might make you boil with rage like I had, but all of it will be a piece of my history and I hope you all enjoy. I'm keeping up the original chapters as well as sort of a remembrance to what feels like a past life.
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Noah (Obsessions in Overdrive #1)
I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life. I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this... *** #1 physical #1 cuteguys #1 addiction #2 self-esteem *** Started: 7 November 2022 Finished: 18 April 2024Complete
It's Okay to Use Your Big Girl Voice
Inside you will find a mixture of both, extremely RAW and refreshingly HEALING accounts of my personal war with my past. Unfortunately, Childhood sexual abuse is far too common, and many of share similar experiences. Looking back, what I could have used more than anything was someone to tell me "You're not alone, there is a lightness through the darkness, you can heal from this and most importantly don't EVER stop telling your story to make others comfortable". I've learned that silence is the best weapon for a predator, and I for one, have never been really good at doing what I'm told. I don't intend on starting now. I wear my scar as reminder that I hold the power in my own story, it is mine to tell and I won't make myself sick keeping quiet because my truths are hard to swallow, other people's comfort is not my problem. My Goal is rather simple, to let the readers know, they too are not alone. If you are a survivor, even if you still feel like a victim, this is my personal message to you. "You are strong, and it wasn't your fault. Tell someone... tell anyone...tell everyone... We shift from victims to survivors when we speak up and tell our stories. There's nothing wrong with you, and the light will shine again. The longer you sit in silence the more power your abuser still holds over you, wipe your face warrior, because there's a lion right inside of you, DONT EVER GIVE UP!" *This story is FULL of TRIGGERS, please be careful reading if triggers are hard for you, your mental health matters* *I own all the Rights to all parts of this book*![The Trouble with Trust [COMPLETED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/240554796-256-k368525.jpg)
The Trouble with Trust [COMPLETED]
I'm about to tell you a story about a girl. A normal girl. A girl that had no cares in the world, until her trust for it was stripped away. When you read her story, you'll find yourself trusting her, loving her, rooting for her. But you see, not everyone gets to trust the world. Not everyone has a happy ending. --- Halfway through the kiss however, his attitude changed; instead of being a loving embrace, it became a fierce trap. His grip on her waist tightened, trapped her where she was instead of simply holding her where he wanted her. The hand in her hair grabbed a section of it, enforcing his demand for her not to go anywhere. Before she knew what was happening, he left go of her hair, and pushed her to the ground. She gasped, suddenly able to breathe. He stood up and walked over to her. He placed a soft hand on her cheek, just like he used to when he was telling her how special she was to him. None of the emotion was there this time however, all she could feel radiating from his was rage. "You shouldn't have run off, babe," he said bitterly. "I was about to show you how much I loved you. Instead, I now have to show you what happens when you anger me." --- The men regarded her, before she was shoved to the ground and one produced a whip. There, laying broken on the floor, as the other girls watched, she was whipped. Slowly, she felt her skin breaking in time with her heart and her will.Complete
Notes to self
Essays of traumas which will either help me grow or continue to be my downfall guess I'll never know(I keep the typos in cause I'm not perfect and neither is my story) is Wrote the beginning chapters when I was 16 Mabey 17 I'm 18 now about to be 19
Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionComplete![[p o e t r y]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/148536872-256-k912257.jpg)
[p o e t r y]
***PSA- PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ MY MOST RECENT ADDITIONS TO THIS POETRY SAGA. I've been writing in this poetry journal since 2016 and they do get progressively better and more insightful.*** thank you carry on: These poems contain snippets of my life and my strongest emotions. Here I have opened my soul up to be read... Lastly, this volume is full; however, if you wish to read more, my 2nd poetry volume is ongoing and accessibleComplete
Broken mind (Under heavy editing!)
I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had too many scars and thought. I already had a broken mind. When I tried to kill myself and failed at it, they brought me to a mental facility. There I meet other teens with different stories and each with their problems. The longer I'm here, the more stories I get the knowledge. We come together to tell our stories so that we can move on from what hurt us in the past and what waits for us in the future. We're all strangers, but we're all living in this messed-up place call life. So can we overcome our broken minds. -2014-Complete
Growing Up Gay
This is basically my journal, so listen to all the bullshit I've been though and how I've dealt with it. From bad parents to homophobes at school. I've gone through a lot so come and see my journey through high school. ⚠️Trigger warning ⚠️ language, depression, abuse, mentions of slurs and sexual assault. slow up dates
20 tracks for a beautiful mind
self help book for everyone out there..... 1)cultivating positive thoughts Your thoughts have a huge impacts on your well being. If you want to be in happy mood then you have to see everything from a positive perspective ,in order to find the true happiness in whatever you do. There are so many self care help tips to evolve your Personality,in life you will face a lot of tough situation, tangled ways of life and many more but your good mind set or mentality could be very useful for you to adapt a new skills and personality development. If you allow your mind to stay out from negativity ,or to put all of your energy in doing something better then, That will add some colour to your life.worrying will only maximise the mess of your mind .And truely i have felt that the patience is one of the most important quality in every human being. you can't be happy if you can't bear it with patience when something unusual happens to you. There are many ways through which we can actually developed a positve mind set, do you want to change for better? Let's open these chapters to add some positive vibes in your mood and to uplift , *be your own sunshine. *analyse people around you . *believe in the beauty of having patience . *have clear visions . *be bold enough to raise your voice. and wise enough to shut it too(act according to situation) . *who you are you know this, don't waste your energy in proving yourself. Rather invest your time in evolving your career or dreams. *your passion will always triggers your Actions . *choose wisely whom with you Wanna share your time . *don't be dependent on another person for your Happiness . *your happiness is a your responsibility. *Be kind to others will make you a good human . *your life is already very good be thankful . *take charge of yourself . *be accountable . *be responsible for your own decisions . *don't blame . *be wise .Complete
Logan
*TW* Contains topics and scenes of sexual assault, self-harm, abuse.* "You know you loved every second of it," I can feel the tears welling up as well as the anger building up within me. I stare at him for a while before I have to turn away from his hungry gaze. "Look I just came here to tell you that I forgive you for what you did back in Cali and I'll take you back," "You forgive me?" I yell. "I did nothing to you. You raped me! You fucking raped me! You have no right to come here and tell me that. You. Forgive. Me. You traumatized me. What you did to me tore me up inside and was eating away at me until I tried to kill myself. And when I told people they didn't believe me. I had to listen to so many people talk about how great a guy you were and how I clearly just regretted sleeping with you. You are a monster. You made me hate myself for something that was never my fault. You have caused me so much pain and suffering," I pause to take a deep breath. "So you don't get to come here to my school and tell me you forgive me. You don't get to make me feel bad about coming forward. The only thing I regret is ever thinking you were a good person." _____________________________________________ Logan Young is a 16-year-old girl about to start her senior year in a brand new town. The past year has been tough and her family moved to give her a fresh start. Her life before the move had been hard and she had been spiraling. She quickly makes new friends and even enemies. She builds up walls to protect herself. But what happens when an unlikely person helps her to tear down her walls and heal. Will she be able to survive in this new place and keep her secrets intact?Complete
I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life. I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this... *** #1 physical #1 cuteguys #1 addiction #2 self-esteem *** Started: 7 November 2022 Finished: 18 April 2024
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