From My Point of View
- Reads 571
- Votes 3
- Parts 41
Ongoing10m
Last published Wed, Dec 18, 2019
Random thoughts and feelings after late night breakdowns, phonecalls, anxiety attacks or anything that comes to mind really.
I'm going to add a TW because these are my thoughts and I have bulimia, Manic Bipolar Disorder, anxiety, ect,. Just figured I'd let you know before you go into this.
All Rights Reserved
#430
anxietyattacks
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Someone New ✓
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboardComplete
Her Breaking Point
He had rules for a reason, or thats what he said. I did something wrong I got punished. I spoke out of turn, I got punished. I looked at him or ate without permission, I got punished. Haven thats what they named me funny isn't it? Ironic really. They named me Haven because my mom would say I was her 'Safe Haven'. What a pile of shit that was. She left willingly, she didn't depart because of some tragic accident. My father didn't kill her. She left because she was a coward who didn't want kids. As soon as my older brother went to college she left. I knew she hated me. I was the product of her love with another man. A constant reminder that her life didn't work out the way it was planned. He who ever he was is a phantom in its own. A deep rooted fantasy never going to come true. My brother left, my mother left, my grandma ignored, and my father broke. They let me give up hope on escaping and then decided to play hero. But I haven't forgotten everything I went through. Guilt consumes my brother but I don't care, you don't get to leave and then buy a reprieve of trying to save someone who has been dead for years. Besides lets just be honest I reached my breaking point long ago.Complete
Elizabeth
Some things are never meant to happen the way that they happen. Some things are not supposed to break the way they break, but we are not in charge of this earth. We cannot oversee how things are fixed and how they break. We are only capable of putting the pieces back together...mending broken hearts and healing empty souls. Why him? They ask her constantly. Why the heartless man to comfort the hurting soul? Because, she always responds, even after countless mood swings, crazy demands, constant reassurance, and stupid arguments, he never gave up on her. Why her? They would ask her every time. He'd respond the same. Because I don't want to court her in bed. I want to love her in life. Polar opposites attract. Elizabeth and Romeo attract. They just want to love each other in life through the pain, the agony, the abuse, the depression, the anxiety, the mafia, the breaking, the fixing, the helping, the hurting. It's just love at the end of the day.Complete
Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionComplete
Tethered By Lust
It's not worth it anymore. The fighting, the hurt, the beatings. It was never going to be worth it. But for love...well love makes you stupid. And I loved him with all my heart. I met the real man who would save me. Like how Bell was saved from Gaston. Except she lived the high life and didn't fear for her existence after her first encounter. After my first encounter with Axel, and a dreamy one-night stand. The only option for me was to stay away from him and keep to Marcus. But Marcus is destroying me. *** "Don't you dare tell me how easy it is to leave and abusive relationship when you've never been in one, Axel!" Tears poured down my cheeks and all I wanted to do in that moment was crawl into the same hole I should never have crawled out from and die. "And I was heartbroken, and scared and anxious. I was worried and I felt weak, and I had no idea how I was ever going to come up with the strength. But I just closed my eyes and took a blind leap. I found you, Cordilia and I'll be dammed if I let that asshole take you away from me."Complete
LATE NIGHTS IN TOKYO (UNPOLISHED VERSION)
***UNPOLISHED*** ***PLEASE READ IF YOU ARE GOING TO READ THIS*** EVERYTHING WORD IS LITERALLY STRAIGHT FROM MY ICLOUD NOTES 💀😂 IT IS NOT EDITED "Late nights in Tokyo is cluster of information from me myself" "Describing my ways" "My emotions" "My thoughts" "In my own personal way..." "ON god i cant stand me dealing with these thoughts because sometimes it gets to me other times i successfully get them outta my head... i dont need to be thinking anythng like this for real...i need someone to save me you feel me...because like i said it isnt healthly to just sit here and feel like this...i gotta find good in the bad and most of the time it is...I wanna help so many people as i can and tell them this is the way...i wanna be peoples light..its sounds dumb but i know how to feel and i gotta get all this hate and dark feelings out" "I made this because I always wanted to keep track of my thoughts and feelings and maybe this will passed on to someone who wants to understand me..." "In a beautiful different city like Tokyo" 1/30/19 "The only person that can save me is myself. I shouldn't depend on nobody else on such deep personal feelings" "Late Nights In Tokyo, The "Late Nights" could mean myself or my feelings, thoughts, mindset, and all in general how I perceive things. Same thing with "Tokyo" I could be in my head overthinking or expressing my emotions flexing my own beauty. Hence why calling Tokyo a beautiful city. My thoughts and etc (Late Nights) are within myself (Tokyo) "Late Nights in Tokyo". Goes without saying, everyone's own way of thinking it's unique and different...everyone has their own beauty". "Scattered thoughts and emotions just written down from an emotional teenage boy, trying to figure himself out". Enjoy 3/29/20 December 20, 2016 (first created) October 11, 2019 (finished)Complete
Behind My Eyes.
come pick my mind and stay awhile, make yourself comfortable. it's awfully lonely in here. - inside this book, you'll find five distinct parts: simply me, which tells you almost everything you need to know about me. you, which tells you about my experience with love and the state of bliss it brings you. after you, which tells you about my experience with heartbreak and hate. nightmares, which is every scary thing that occurs in my mind and things that instill fear in those who read it. the book closes with recovery, where we explore self-confidence and self-discovery. these are the inner workings of my mind, i'm not going to sugar coat it for you: it's a sad, depressing place. this all comes from the pages of my journals so i'm sparing you the tear-stained pages, consider yourself lucky. hope you enjoy! - feel free to comment or message me :)Complete
Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story)
Ages 14+ (lesbian concepts and some profanity) This is not your everyday love story, okay? It's not a chick flick either. The events and themes within my pages have meaning, depth, truth-and most of all, reality. You are about to be taken on an adventure about a girl who's life is not like everybody else's. I look like a normal teen girl, I mean, I have hair and two eyes and two hands and feet like everybody else, but I couldn't feel more different. I have two moms, yes. Let's just get that out there before you start reading and close my diary like everyone in my life has shut me out of theirs. All I want is a normal life with normal friends who don't judge me because of my home situation. I don't even remember the last time I went on a sleepover or called somebody my age. I don't mean to be a downer, because it does get better. Life gets better. Struggles are only temporary, I know that now. And by my last words reach your eyes, I've come a long way, and have grown to see potential in myself. I'm sharing this with you because I want to make a difference. I know now that I'm not the only one in the world that feels alone. I've been there, done that, and there's more loneliness to come, but for now, I feel more prepared for it. I know how it feels to sit by yourself at lunch every day and how it feels to watch others go to prom with dates and feel like shit because you don't think you'd even have any friends to go with. Please ready my diary. I am much older now, and much more wiser, and I can't wait for you to realize the potential in yourself, too.Complete
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard
More detailsContent Guidelines