Delustion
- Reads 50
- Votes 2
- Parts 1
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Sat, Jan 18, 2014
I've been living in a fantasy world my entire life, and don't know how to get out of it. It started when I was little. Actually, I don't know when it started, as I've been doing this as long as I can remember. I'd stare out into space & create a fantasy world, full of characters that were very real to me. It started with fairies, princesses, vampires, and other fantastical things. Then, as I got older, it developed, into lifelike human beings, with histories and well-developed stories. I'd do this for hours every day.....whenever I got a chance. It was an escape, which seemed harmless. The problem is I never grew out of it. Instead, it got worse and worse, and I'd develop the characters more and more. I had few friends & never spent much time with them or my family. I was so far into my own world that I never developed any empathy or connections with anyone. I never wished anyone any harm; I just didn't know how to talk or feel anything for them. I block out anyone who try to reach out or prey into my life or feelings. I wonder if there is hope ......
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All I want is to be alone. I wish that no one existed. My name is Zeina. I don't talk much. Not at all actually. Well not really. I sign or write things down in my notebook. I can speak. But I really only speak to those I trust. Today I'm gonna die. Don't feel bad for me, I am choosing my fate after all. Im tired of living. It's exhausting really living up to your own expectations and the expectations of others. I'm sick of shaving every inch of my limbs, plucking my eye brows, doing my hair, getting dress. Honestly I'm sick of people. My hair is long and dark brown with blonde in it. I have bangs that hang over my face and ever so slightly across my eyes. I don't have friends. My family sucks. So if you're reading this I have a question for you. Are you an outcast too. Everyday I come home from school, take sleeping pills, and go to sleep. Now I just want to sleep. Infinitely. (A/N I'm currently editing this!)
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