Fairyland

Fairyland

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Tue, Jul 25, 2017
Trigger warning: anorexia, self-harm My struggle with an eating disorder didn't happen suddenly; it started my freshman year of high school with body image issues. Going into college, I still struggle everyday and I walk between recovery and sickness. In no way have I overcome my own Eating Disorder voice, as my psychiatrist calls it. I'm learning to challenge it but it's not easy. If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder (including bulimia, binge eating, or an eating disorder not otherwise specified), I encourage getting professional help. This is truly a deadly path to reach what we think is perfect but remember PERFECT DOES NOT EXIST. I know true happiness lies in a healthy lifestyle. I'm trying to get there but the journey is challenging and never a linear progression. Please, get help. In no way am I trying to glorify or romanticize the struggle with an eating disorder. If it seems like I am, I'm truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. The US hotline for eating disorders: (800) 931-2237. US suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255.
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Locked In

You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.

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