Scarlett's Confessions

Scarlett's Confessions

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You have no idea how many times I found myself waiting for Riley to come over. But he never did. And I don't know why, but I found myself staring out my window... hoping he'll look out his window and smile at me like he always does... use to anyway. Then again; I missed his lips too. The lips I tasted way too much on Friday. The lips I'm craving to have on me. But they aren't even mine to have. And I feel like my world has slanted and like it's no where near me. Like I have to run an extra mile to make up for every step I should of took; for every step I should be taking. I can't help but wonder why he hasn't come by and apologize. Is he home? Is he with Marie? Does she know? Should I be scared or something? Is he mad at me? Or himself? I stood up and walked up to my full-length mirror that's attached to my closet door. I looked at my naked body. I passed my right hand over my belly. Flat. I raised my hand over my right breast. But I didn't touch it. Sigh. I turned to my side and looked at thigh and my butt. My butt sticks out a bit more than my thigh. As always. Nothing had changed. Just my feelings. My feelings about everything in my life. Suddenly, I felt anger.
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My eyes snapped open as I fully remembered it. Remembered what he had done to me. He kissed me. I brought my hand up to my lips and gently touched them. I realized a smile had over come my face. I wish I had kissed back. Why did he kiss me in the first place? I had never talked to him about that and now I was getting more and more curious. I had felt fire works. No. More than that... I felt passion, wonder, confusion, love, life, light, a beautiful feeling that I never have felt before. Not even with Ryder. Should I ask him? Did he feel the same thing? Does he feel that way? But he's dating Catherine. Does he like me? Did he like me? Does he only see me as a friend now? Had I missed my chance? Was I being an idiot for thinking such things? Was that image supposed to be a sign that I'm supposed to be with him? Or was it the world trying to break me again?

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