Destiny. {no1d}

Destiny. {no1d}

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Parts 4

Ongoing11m

Last published Mon, Mar 24, 2014

The thing with the self-harm is like this. You don't care how deep the cut is or how much it hurts. You don't think, but simply cut. At this moment you just didn't care, the main thing is that it hurts. You want to bleed, feel and suffer the pain. Suffering for all that is in your head. For all your faults and actions. Suffering because of looking at oneself, worthless; mistake. Eventually, the pain is not within you, sometimes it's the only thing you are.

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There are times when you don't know what to think or what to do. I guess after being so disappointed and left by the one person you thought could never leave you, you tend to lose the ability to react logically. I know for a fact that I don't act like myself anymore, but I didn't seem to be able to change that. We often get told not to drink too much, but when everything you think about when sober is how pointless everything is, you can be considered as an exception. At least, I think it's better if I can't constantly think about her and how I missed her touch, her words, everything when really, she also ruined me. We're all broken. Sometimes, it's just the reality of life hitting you too hard, sometimes it's someone breaking you. Whatever the cause, we all struggle to live and move on. I just wish I wasn't so alone through this and that someone could help me live with myself.

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