My personal journal
- LECTURES 26
- Votes 0
- Chapitres 4
En cours d'écriture5m
Dernière publication sam., déc. 2, 2017
Living has always been exciting where after every up came a down and up again, like a roller coaster, isn't it?
But it becomes an even bigger roller coaster with loopings added, when you start asking yourself what is your gender? What is your sexuality? How can you solve that riddle? Well the answer is simple: You can't. It comes piece by piece until you can see the whole puzzle.
I am going through all kinds of changes, so I thought I could write a journal about it to loose some preassure and upload it, because maybe it helps someone out there who goes through similar things or has gone through. Or is just interested in my story (though that's not very likely xD)
WARNING: It can get sometimes a bit depressive, but not always I promise :-)
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rose in the desert
I will write my future story in bilingual. I want to force myself to be the person I like. I don't care if other people like me, I just care if they like me. After days of hesitation, I finally settled on the name, and I sat on the toilet thinking about the script God had sent me... I can't wait to read the script God sends me and I can't wait to finish it. After writing it, the English audio reading was wonderful. I burst into tears as I listened, and burst into tears as I finished writing. This is very interesting. I always touch myself again and again, always write dreams in my dreams. Whose life is not a dream? I am an affectionate and tragic person, and I love this world deeply. Love so deeply, so seriously. God often gives me so much information that my brain feels like it's going to explode and I'm going crazy. I can understand what Vincent van Gogh was doing in the wheat field. When you see everything in the world, dear, you don't care about anything anymore. You only live for your own happiness. People start to distance themselves from you and you become more and more lonely. God, I ask you again and again, why am I stuck in the desert? I want you to answer me, once is not enough, ten times is not enough, a hundred times is not enough, a thousand times is not enough, ten thousand times is not enough! 2025/1/5
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{COMPLETED} "now that you've had your fun electrocuting me, would you care to hop in the backseat?" ---------------------------------------------------------- Freak DNA. That's what I like to call it. The fault to my genetic code. More often than not, it's a curse. The static running through my blood gave me a name. A cruel, daunting label of a measly bug. A roach. That's what I am to them, to the government. Roach; the nameless monster with electricity for a sense and lightening as a second nature. It ruined my life, the sparking currents playing tag in my mind, running around and bumping into everything, shaking me loose. The government, actually. They ruined my life. My curse just gave them a reason. You see, the normal population with ordinary DNA, they don't know about the people like me. The roaches of the world. We don't get that kind of recognition at the camps. There, we are only one thing in the military's eyes. We are weapons and we will act like it. Everyone else out there, bathing in the goodness they don't know they've got, they don't know about the roaches their stepping on. As long as their getting closer to the sky, they don't care what they stand on to reach it. They don't know about the sparkling dreamer that's killed 7 people before her 17th birthday. They don't about the ghost of a girl peaking around corners for her entire life because even home wasn't safe. They don't know about the fighter of steel and iron sucking on his bloody lip courtesy of the wars he battles in as nothing but a shadow. They don't know about the masked villain who would do anything to see the army they lead claim the throne They don't know about us. But they will, because we will rise. And when we arrive, we will arrive violently. ___________________________________________ Started: 10.06.15 Finished: 3.17.16Terminé
You don't know me
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Not for the faint of heart, I explore dark parts of my mind and unfurl them for your own enjoyment. All of these stories are true. You don't know me, and you're never going to. This is basically just a shitty diary of my life with very few details as to who I am, Don't want to scare you off. Feel free to read but I don't really care. I'm just a screwed up guy that everyone knows and nobody cares about really. If you can't tell I'll probably swear quite a bit in this so if you don't like that I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good read anyway it's just me complaining about the fact I still exist. Actually no, whilst I did start this to complain about my life, the stories are fluctuating, as I discover I am infact worthy of love, even I don't believe it at all times. I hope you enjoy my rantings. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
I will write my future story in bilingual. I want to force myself to be the person I like. I don't care if other people like me, I just care if they like me. After days of hesitation, I finally settled on the name, and I sat on the toilet thinking about the script God had sent me... I can't wait to read the script God sends me and I can't wait to finish it. After writing it, the English audio reading was wonderful. I burst into tears as I listened, and burst into tears as I finished writing. This is very interesting. I always touch myself again and again, always write dreams in my dreams. Whose life is not a dream? I am an affectionate and tragic person, and I love this world deeply. Love so deeply, so seriously. God often gives me so much information that my brain feels like it's going to explode and I'm going crazy. I can understand what Vincent van Gogh was doing in the wheat field. When you see everything in the world, dear, you don't care about anything anymore. You only live for your own happiness. People start to distance themselves from you and you become more and more lonely. God, I ask you again and again, why am I stuck in the desert? I want you to answer me, once is not enough, ten times is not enough, a hundred times is not enough, a thousand times is not enough, ten thousand times is not enough! 2025/1/5
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